#wholenessblooming

i was just finding to love the doings and learning to create a rhythm, but life (and body) always has other plans. now on a partial bed rest for the next couple of months, and i have to learn to not do anything much, be slow deliberately and back again to noticing, breathing and simply being..

i’ve struggled all my life to lose weight and it had been a big struggle coz of imposing rules by others. though it only started bothering me physically since mid 20s. and now since last 3-4 months, simply removing gluten and rice and outside (and packaged) food and starting to cook, and eating things i didn’t like and never ate (like some fruits, veggies and different types of grains), i’m suddenly losing weight in a downhill manner. i feel no change within me, but i do feel more energetic and active to cook. now i also know how to balance listening to what my body needs food-wise and whether i am really hungry. and following a specific routine eating-wise (not eating after sunset except when hungry) has also somehow regulated my sleep routine, i love waking up early in the morning now and have more energy in the morning which previously i never had. the body loves routines , and for the first time, there’s no resistance or cravings as such. there’s no need for sugary or salty foods if the body is getting variety of fresh foods. this has also changed my perspective of seeing food as medicine and having healing properties. there is an added layer of emotional stability for now and i feel deeply content and grateful for this journey with food. the only struggle sometimes is of prepping and chopping but listening to a good podcast has been helping. hoping to make this last for the remaining of the year, one day at a time.

Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. To yourself. To others. To everyone. It’s not told enough. Why don’t we have “being kind” as the purpose of life?

<< reading through some of my old writings reminded me and pointed me to the Heart again like a gentle teacher.. >> what was i trying to control? Life itself? when it just flows like a stream of river that finds its way, like leaves falling - when its their time and new buds growing - when its their time. times change, seasons change, people change, and Life changes too with these upward and downward spirals. but what irony! where previously i wanted others to let me Be, just be, now i try and control (situations and specifically my own body) to not let them Be. i don’t let them flow, i let others Be as they are, but i don’t let myself (and my body) Be. we can build a dam on a river and try to control its flow, but can we ever change the fluidity inherent in the liquid water, can we ever change the fluidity of Life that goes on and on and on at its own pace? it doesn’t matter how much you want to skip forward or take a different route - it will take you through the route that’s most needed for you, at its own pace, flowing.

Minds are fascinating, they pull memories weirdly randomly and attached with them are the emotional files, coloured and uncoloured, some categorised, some unsorted.. Minds linked to the body, makes the whole thing shake at the tiniest memory fused with rage, with grief, with joy, with sweetness. Some memories are locked in a special box, only to be opened in the midst of self-pity, and bouts of wallowing in guilt or regrets. One day, you open the box, only to find thankfulness, that deep gratitude of life and people. What will you use now for indulging in that despondency? ~ ~ ~ ~ wholenessblooming

Yellow and green. Sphagneticola flowers.