#medievil

It’s been a while now since I first played Medievil remake, so I finally want to air out some of my feelings about it. And goodness do I have opinions, ranging from nitpicks to legit criticism. The intro cinematic? It’s absolute ass. While I understand that this remake was probably made hella cheap, I shouldn’t be able to tell when Zarok enters another stock animation in the very first cutscene. It also just generally lacks the feel of the og, even if a lot of that was the 90’s era cgi graphics. The game suffers from a lot of visual clutter. At least the more vegetated areas are just filled to the brim with clutter, just because they could. Sure, it looks pretty, but I’d like to know where I’m going, too. I honestly can’t stand the narration. I’m sorry, let me read my lore text in peace, please. The additional lore the game gives via the book of Gallowmere entries varies heavily between kinda neat, and did we really need to know this? Sure, we know that the Stained glass demon is something Zarok brought to life now, but I don’t think it really was something we needed to actually know. On the other hand, I do like that we get to know a little more about Zarok, as his motivation was left in the dark originally. But it is a double edged blade as well, since 99% of the newly written lore is so tongue in cheek that it’s more uncertain if we should laugh or actually take it seriously. The camera angle is a bit of a pain in the ass. Sure it’s more modern, but it feels like you can’t see shit sometimes. The models are a hit and miss most of the time. It feels like three different people were modeling characters and got completely different instructions. Dan? He looks great. The heroes at the hall? They all look photorealistic for some reason. Zarok? Looked great in concept art, but the actual hell happened during modeling? On the other hand, the gargoyles are great. They got so much more character than before, especially the formerly static merchant gargoyles. On the nitpicking side, I want to personally maul the person who translated this game to Finnish. For some weird reason, they decided to translate gargoyle as ‘eaves devil’ and I want to punch something. I am glad they put their whole ass into animating Zarok during the final encounter, because if it had looked as hokey as in the opening cutscene, it would have been an atrocity. They give Zarok so much character and I love it. Would I play this over the original? Not really. It’s shinier and prettier, but much like the Spyro remake, it’s pretty without substance. Something is just missing and I am aware that I am terribly biased when I say that. I would honestly recommend Resurrection over the remake, mostly because that and the original game are different enough that you can treat them as two very distinct timelines. Though, the remake did give us lovely orchestrations of some og tracks… It’s a love-hate relationship in the end, honestly. Some good, plenty bad, some meh.

Production starts this year! Will Poulter to Lead Medieval Zombie Horror RAPTURE - A Plague of the Undead Is Coming — GeekTyrant

ALT They just let anyone run these days, I guess…

Since I don’t post a lot about Medievil publicly, I should probably share some Zarok headcanons I’ve formed over time. -Zarok is very much bigender. A lady and a lord in one, he doesn’t mind being called either. He’s just an enby icon. -He’s half elf. Rare people to see in Gallowmere, but they sometimes find spouses from the human populace. Zarok tends to tuck his ears under his headdress because they are noticeable. -Very much has a bad relationship with food. Eats very little due to coming from a poor farming family even to this day. Claims its to watch his figure. -Loves sheep and was raised on a sheep farm. Also loves dogs. -Totally bullied in school and in his youth for his heritage. Yes, even at the fancy magic school. -Tries to be self-reliant to a point of detriment. -Has exactly two modes: Overly affectionate and not affectionate. Like with a cat, you need to earn the right to be hugged by the bony sorcerer. -Generally very private about personal business.

Ravenhooves, male, from MediEvil! Would You Fuck This Taur? Yes No View Results See Results

The Voyage Toward Constantinople: Storms, Superstitions, and Omens [de.Clari.chronicle.09] “And when the pilgrims set out to sea, the wind was contrary for many days; and the ships were tossed about and separated from one another, so that some feared they would never see their companions again. And many said that the sea was angry because of the sins that had been committed, and they swore that God had not wished them to do what they had done at Zara. But the greatest among the barons replied that they must trust in God and continue the voyage.” — Robert de Clari, The Conquest of Constantinople The sea voyage from Dalmatia toward Constantinople is one of the most underestimated chapters of the Conquête . For Clari, it is a decisive psychological passage: the sea becomes a judge. After Zara, the army is already divided. Put it on ships, in the middle of storms, and the result is the perfect mixture for explosive superstition and guilt. 1. The Sea as Divine Punishment Clari insists on one point: as soon as the ships set sail, the weather worsens. contrary winds, ships losing sight of one another, crews unable to find each other again, fear of sinking, starless nights. For men who had rarely seen the sea, it feels as if God Himself is shaking the world with His hands. And here a phrase appears that echoes in many testimonies of ordinary crusaders: “It is because we attacked Christians.” The sea is not a natural event, it is a sign. 2. The Sea Reveals the Internal Fracture At sea you cannot escape your own thoughts. Clari reports two voices: the voice of the common men: “God is angry.” the voice of the leaders: “It is only wind. We continue.” This opposition is central to the chronicle. At Zara it was only a crack. At sea it becomes a fissure. At Constantinople it will become an abyss. The leaders think politically. Ordinary knights think spiritually. And the two visions finally collide openly. 3. The Separation of the Ships: Fear of Disintegration Clari says the ships are “tossed about” and “separated.” In a medieval context this means: each ship becomes an island without communication, entire groups may be lost, a commander cannot issue orders, nor know who is alive and who is not. The crusade, already weakened morally, fragments physically. It is almost symbolic: the army loses its unity at the same moment it loses visual contact. 4. Omens: When Every Event Becomes a Message For Clari, as for most crusaders, reality is never silent. Every sway of the ship, every cry of the wind, every creak of wood becomes a sign. Clari does not judge these interpretations—he records them. And the more events seem chaotic, the more the army relies on symbolic interpretation. This mentality will be crucial before the enormous walls of Constantinople: they will not look for logic, but for divine will . They will find it where it is convenient for the leaders. 5. The Sea as a Purifying Rite—and a Prelude to Chaos The journey is long, the weather harsh, the fears immense. But when the winds finally change and the ships regain their course, the army feels it has “passed the test.” It is an illusory thought. Yet in that era symbolism often weighs more than rational explanation. For Clari, the sea becomes a threshold: if God had wanted them dead, He would have drowned them. Therefore they must continue. In this way the army absolves itself for the sin of Zara—not through the Pope, not through the barons, but through the sea itself. Explained Thematic Connections A) Guilt and Symbolic Interpretation The storm is not meteorology—it is theology. The medieval world interprets reality through guilt and signs. The sea becomes a moral indicator. B) The Crusaders’ Structural Inability to Read Context The crusaders cannot distinguish natural causes from religious causes. This makes them easily manipulated. C) Command and Fragmentation At sea the authority of the barons is weak. The Doge dominates. Ships isolate. The army loses cohesion before reaching its next objective. D) The Culture of Omens The medieval sea is a supernatural space. The crusaders unconsciously read nature as a sacred text. This prepares the ground for the “wonders” that Clari will later describe in Constantinople.

MediEvil 2 ’s 26th anniversary ALT ALT ALT ALT Sir Daniel Fortesque, back from the dead once again. MediEvil 2 released 26 years ago today. How will you be celebrating this momentous occasion?

The Gallows Gauntlet’s dungeons ALT ALT Did you know? Several rooms were cut from MediEvil ’s The Gallows Gauntlet level, which seemed to form a dungeon. The corpses found in these rooms were re-used in the final game’s Inside The Asylum level. Find out more about The Gallows Gauntlet on Gallowpedia, the MediEvil wiki. You’ll be dying to read!

Greg Off ALT ALT Did you know? Greg Off was one of the co-authors of the MediEvil 1 and 2 strategy guides. He also reviewed both games and gave them high scores. Read more on Gallowpedia.

MediEvil II Platinum poster Did you know? Platinum copies of MediEvil , released in late 1999, came with a double-sided poster featuring a first look at MediEvil 2 . ALT ALT ALT ALT Find out more about this poster on Gallowpedia. Special thanks to InsightsIE for high resolution scans of the poster. See those here .

Theft of the Shadow Artefact ALT ALT A lusty adventurer in his heyday, this once-beloved mayor stole the Shadow Artefact from Zarok’s Tower after the disgraced sorcerer was banished from the kingdom. - Book of Gallowmere My interpretation of what the Gallows Town Mayor’s theft of the Shadow Artefact may have looked like. Since we don’t know what exactly “Zarok’s Tower” refers to in the Book of Gallowmere, I’ve made two versions, one where it is part of Zarok’s own castle (left), and one where it may have been his tower at Peregrin Castle (right). I tried making the Mayor look a bit different here: I’ve given him an adventuring cap, removed his monocle and slimmed him down a little bit to show that this happened some time before the beginning of MediEvil . Models extracted from the original MediEvil using FrogLord. Mayor model edited by me. Rendered using Blender.

Medievil

I’m going insane again over how MediEvil 2 very nearly had some interesting things to say about misogyny and classism, and completely missed every opportunity it had. And there is no better example of this than poor, misused Kiya, whose entire existence is filtered through the misogynistic male gaze in and out of universe. In universe, the only information we have about her past is an optional book written in universe by a British Victorian man with all the biases that implies. Out of universe, her character design is informed by exactly two thoughts; “love interest - make her sexy” and “mummy - give her bandages.” If you take the misogynistic white men at their word in and out of universe, Kiya is a sexy lamp whose whole purpose is to be fridged and then brought back, whose whole identity is a prize for Our Hero to win. But MediEvil is all about lies and false histories. Stop and look at what we’re shown about Kiya, not what we’re told. It was her skills and knowledge that allowed Kift to build the creature in the Dankenstein levels, where the professor’s own research had ended in failure years before. We know from this that Kiya must have embalming knowledge, and possibly even some necromancy. She could not have merely been some girl “plucked from abject poverty” as the in-game book puts it, but an embalmer and therefore a priestess of Anubis. Kiya, who had been killed to follow her husband into the afterlife, went to fight Jack the Ripper on her own. She chose to join the fight even when the men around her wanted her to stay safe and useless. If not for her knowledge of embalming, Palethorn would have won about halfway through the game. She has an inner life and motives of her own which are ignored and overshadowed at every turn. It’s almost a meta-commentary on how women are treated, how she’s dismissed by the narrative despite arguably having a clearer motive for her actions than Dan, who is mostly just running around doing what Kift says. But it’s not a commentary, it’s just misogynistic writing. It’s just sexist character design, not a commentary on how society tries to shape women into sexualised abstractions of themselves. Kiya is everything to me and yet she seems to be almost nothing to the people who created her, and that’s so sad.

The cutie patootie Anyways idk what to post and idk if I posted thsi alr