#dontgostakinmyheart

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NERF! I logged on for the first time in a month to wish you a happy birthday because birthdays are IMPORTANT and you deserve 500 more messages on here. Luv ya 3000.

lol thx! i have to work for a few hours but then we’re having yummy food and games after, should be fun

Chai is generally a safe bet. But if you're going for calm and soothing maybe chamomile.

i don’t have chamomile, but thanks. i went for mint tea with a bit of honey, that’s my fave so it should help :)

Another Lonely Christmas

Hello Little Pup, Hello Xandra, At first, I want to thank you for making the last couple of weeks so much fun. You’ve been answering all my messages with very long answers and it was so great talking to you. As soon as this message gets posted, I will press follow on your blog. I also want to wish you a lovely christmas and a happy new year. I hope that you will be happy with the gifts you’ll receive and more over, I hope that you’ll have an amazing time with your family. For the new year, I wish you happiness, love and amazing things. I hope that you’re dreams come true and that all your wishes will be granted. Loads of love, Annette To Xandra (@ dontgostakinmyheart ) From Annette (@ alfrette ) Stiles turned the speakers up and Derek groaned while Mariah Carrey echoed through the house. Although he loved Stiles and the amount of cheer he had brought into his life, he still didn’t like Christmas. He didn’t like that time of the year that everyone spent with family members. He would have loved to spend those days with family members. And he was not talking about Stiles and the Sheriff. They were acting like his family and they were trying their best, but they weren’t his mother, they weren’t his father, they weren’t his siblings. No matter how many christmas cookies Stiles would bake and no matter how big the dinner the Sheriff would cook would be, it wouldn’t make up for the pain Derek felt in his heart. It wouldn’t be able to fill the hole that had been there since the fire, since Cora had left. “Derek!” Stiles placed the Christmas decorations on the table in the living room. Last year he had bought decorations in the most horrible colors. Purple, blue, pink. Derek had tried to protest, but not so surprisingly Stiles had not wanted to listen and it seemed he was now using them again. “No, I’m not doing this again.” Derek shook his head and raised his eyebrows. Last year he had given it a try, because Stiles had begged him to. Derek had not wanted to ruin his holiday spirit. He had even hoped that the old feeling of happiness, just like long ago when Christmas had been his favorite time of the year, would return. It had not. The ugly decorations had made him miss his mother, who had always filled the house with the most beautiful ornaments, even more. The ornaments had all been gold and silver and Derek had never dared to ask how old they had been. He had never dared to touch them, afraid that he would drop them, that they would slip out of his hands, that they would shatter on the floor. His mother had never told him where she had gotten them from, but Derek had assumed that most of them had been bought by his grandparents or maybe even their parents. “Derek, can’t you at least look at this stuff?” Stiles stared at the werewolf and Derek rolled his eyes. Sometimes he just wanted to grab the boy and shake him. He knew that that would be unfair. It wasn’t like Stiles didn’t know how it felt to lose someone. It wasn’t like Derek didn’t notice how Stiles felt the absence of his mother too. He just wished that Stiles would understand that he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t pretend to be happy. Not during Christmas. “It’s your stuff.” Derek shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t care what you’re gonna do with it.” Derek wanted to turn around, but Stiles grabbed his arm and forced him to stand still. “Derek…” Stiles whispered and Derek turned around, knowing the look on the boy’s face. “This isn’t my stuff.” Stiles shook his head and Derek’s eyes widened. His hands were trembling when he carefully tried to open the box. There they were. The silver and golden ornaments from his mother. They were blinking and shining like they had always done, like she was still there, like she had just cleaned them, ready for another holiday season. “I don’t want them in my house.” He swallowed, but his voice was breaking and he fought against the tears burning in his eyes. He couldn’t have them hanging here, surrounded by the ugliest stuff he had ever seen, within the reach of the clumsiest guy he had ever met. “Well, so far my christmas present for you, great.” Stiles rolled his eyes, but grabbed Derek’s hands. “If you’re afraid I will break them, fine, I won’t touch them. If you’re scared they will make you cry, fine, I will dry your tears.” Stiles paused for a short moment. “Christmas sucks when you miss someone that should have been there, Derek. I can’t bring her back. We can’t bring anyone back.” He swallowed and Derek took a deep breath. “But you know why I like Christmas?” Stiles cocked his head. “Because that’s the time of the year I’m not afraid that I will ever stop missing my mother. That’s the time of the year I know that I will always love her and that no matter how long she’s been gone, it will always hurt.” “You like being in pain?” Derek raised his eyebrows and shook his head. He would never get used to Stiles surprising him. “Yes, because every time I’m in pain, I know that she will never be forgotten.” For a moment there was nothing but silence. Stiles was holding Derek’s hands and Derek was trying to control himself, to make sure he wouldn’t break down in the middle of their living room, surrounded by the blinking ornaments reminding him of the wonderful Christmases the Hales had spent together. “Fine, I’ll find a spot for them somewhere.” Derek eventually sighed and took one of the ornaments out of the box. “But you’re not touching them. You’re not going anywhere near them at all.”

Merry Christmas, @dontgostakinmyheart!

Read on AO3 ***** Always be there “I knew it was a terrible idea to go in here. I fucking knew it”, he murmured to himself, a slight trace of tension in his voice. The young man also knew that he should better be quiet in a deeply haunted place like this. But the fear loosened his tongue in a poor attempt to try and deal with his running mind. He couldn’t. He couldn’t do it any longer. Stiles stared down to his bluish fingertips and white knuckles, the firm grip which held the wand. His robe’s end was already wet and cold sank into his shoes and socks, making him chatter his teeth uncontrollably. Still Stiles didn’t want to stop making his way through the ankle-deep snow. Every few steps he saw drops of blood covering the pale white landscape that lay in the darkness before him, rendered by dark and rotten trees. No, he had to fucking move on. “Did it ever come to your mind that this injured dog-wolf-thing possibly went crazy and might attack you? No? Good. Why should it Stiles? Go in the middle of the night into the Forbidden Forest to hunt a wolf thing and tell nobody about it. Great idea .” Sarcasm, his only defence besides some magical abilities, wouldn’t save him either. He was also skipping Potions right now, just to follow this dog - or wolf, whatever - which would certainly get him into trouble. And yeah, Potions class. In the middle of the night . Maybe the injury was caused by one of the hippogriffs , he wondered. But the hippogriffs looked unharmed. And why, Stiles added in his thoughts, why would a single wolf attack a herd of hippogriffs, which are way too strong for it? It made no sense. What if it attacks me out of pain? On the other hand it didn’t look like it could do anything anymore. Stiles pushed his thoughts aside. “Focus, Stiles. It’s going to be fine.” He knew that Mrs. Lovise, one of Hogwarts Gamekeepers, would take care of any harmed animal. Even a wild wolf… or maybe even a grim. Well, maybe not a grim… Suddenly, he heard a low crackle to his left and froze before he turned around slowly to face whatever he could possibly face. A loud, pounding noise hammered unsteadily in Stiles ears, but it didn’t come from outside because it was his own heart beat. Blood drained, black fur and a pair of glowing wolf eyes stared directly at him. Stiles swallowed. He hadn’t thought about what he would do if the wolf was still able to move. It had looked so injured in the meadow, right beside the big lake. Stiles had seen this wolf vanishing into the forest, in an almost crouching manner. But this specimen, in an indescribable way, still looked majestic and more than able to kill him in one strike. Shit. “Hey little grumpy wolf…. I’m not here to hurt you, okay…?” Stiles raised his wand to slowly cast the levitation spell – nope, he wouldn’t even try to carry a hundred fifty pound animal on his shoulders. “Just let me-…” But right before he could say the first syllable, the wind carried a deep growl towards him and sharp, white teeth appeared in the darkness. Within seconds the boy felt fear flood his mind, right before the wolf jumped. “ Shit .” __________________________________ Pain rushed through his head, filling his mind with terror. He couldn’t be dead, right? It was too painful for being a dead corpse. Stiles’ head felt like syrup, dull pain hammered down his spine and caused a low, painful moan. Where am I? Fuck… Whatever was underneath him, Stiles could recognize that it was too warm to be snow. It was too soft and cuddly, like a pillow. Weird. “Wha… nh …?” Stiles whispered slowly, he felt so damn weak. “Shht, shht. Easy. You are safe now”, a calm female voice filled his mind with peace, just for a moment, but… The forest. The wolf! Stiles’ eyes opened rapidly. He slowly tried to sit up and moaned quietly, but he did recognize the room as his sight sharpened. He was in the Hospital Wing, but how the hell did he end up here? “Where’s the wolf, what-”, he was so confused. Stiles remembered the wolf attacking him before he passed out, but it didn’t explain why he was still alive? It didn’t make sense. Slowly and cautiously Stiles began to move - It felt like a flashback to his first Quidditch lesson. When he got hit in his face by a quaffle, the pain was quite similar to what he felt now. He bent his fingers and his toes, he just wanted to make sure, that he wasn’t missing some parts of his body. But nothing of him was ripped out by sharp wolf teeth. You lucky one. “Mr. Stilinski, please lay down. Everything is fine. Mr. Hale brought you here and-…” Stiles tuned the nurse’s voice out instantly, his thoughts exploding in surprise. What did she say? Hale? Derek Hale ? It didn’t make any sense why he would have carried Stiles back. How did he even find me? Derek Hale was a Gryffindor and a sixth year. He was famous - well, according to the hand full of students who always were around him. They were even calling themselves the Hale Pack – and he’d never looked at Stiles once. Ok. Well, he actually did look at me one or two times in his entire school career, but his gazes always were darting and sharp, Stiles thought. He felt dizzy and so his thoughts stumbled back and forward uncontrollably. Stiles was a fifth year and he never thought about forcing himself through the wall of people that encompassed the Hale Pack. Okay, he’d often thought about it. But he kept those thoughts secret. Derek had everything he didn’t have. He looked like a greek god, was big and strong, he was the cool guy everyone wanted to be with. He had everything. Almost . A pointy voice inside his head reminded him, of what Derek had lost a long time ago. He was an orphan, he didn’t have parents like Stiles. Well, Stiles at least has his dad and… he would see him soon because of the christmas holidays. Derek would stay here. Possibly all alone. Instantly Stiles felt bad for his selfish thoughts and looked up to a worried face right above him. It was the nurse. Right, she was here, too. “Where is he?” Stiles asked, furrowing his brows. The only answer he got back was a mug of fluid he couldn’t identify. It smelled sweet and spicy at the same time. “Drink this. It’ll help to get you back on your feet”, she added gently. Stiles sighed and emptied the drink hastily. “Where… is-…” he coughed. It tasted terribly! Did she want to burn off his tongue? For God’s sake! “…is he?” Stiles finished hoarsely. In a sadistic way she looked pleased, due to the fact he’d almost died because of the drink. “Mr. Hale is lying just next to you. He is fine. And you, Mr. Stilinski, should thank him for what he did. The tebo could have killed you. Both of you!” A tebo? He had heard about this boar-like creature, but a tebo, in Hogwarts ? “What is a tebo doing here?” he couldn’t resist to ask. Tebos were dangerous, he could imagine that it might have found use in Care of Magical Creatures. “It escaped its cage and Mr. Hale, who was around when it happened, rushed out to capture it…” Stiles heard a sigh. “I’m so glad that both of you weren’t badly injured. The tebo is gone, no one knows where it went. But more important: What were you doing out there?” “Ehh…” Damn it. “I saw this wolf, and… I was on my way to potions, really. I just wanted to check on the new hippogriff foal. Did you see it? It’s a sensation to breed hippogriffs in captivity successfully. Well… When I saw the injured wolf, I had to follow it. I thought, maybe it was harmed by the tebo…? I couldn’t ignore this…. So… Umm… Yeah. I should look for my saviour now. I have to thank him, right? So… ehm.” He gesticulated excessively with his hands before he started cautiously to stand up. Stiles avoided the nurse’s gaze and hoped that he was owing her no more explanation. The boy sneaked silently to the bed next to his own. Derek seemed as if he was sleeping. Two long scratches were marking his cheek and a thicker scratch ran down his throat. He looked terrible, but he wasn’t in critical condition. And how did he save me? What is with the wolf? Was that Derek? Stiles didn’t understand, his mind began circling unsteadily around itself. Underneath Derek’s terrible appearance, an indescribable softness covered his face. Stiles couldn’t even tell why he noticed that. “Was that you?” Stiles began to speak in a low voice. On one hand he didn’t want to wake him up, on the other hand… He had to know. “I mean”, he continued slowly. “The wolf in the forest.” He had no other explanation for what had happened. If Derek really was the wolf he had seen… A memory struck Stiles’ mind and he gasped for air. “A wolf saved me in the forest from freezing when I was a child”, he started to tell him the story from a time when everything was bright and fine. “That… was also you, wasn’t it?” He recognized this pair of bright golden wolf eyes, their stare. But if Derek was not the wolf, he’d made a total fool out of himself again. But hey, it was a familiar feeling. A long time ago he had been a young boy, lost in a forest. Not the Forbidden Forest, but it was winter and only a few days before christmas. He hadn’t been able to find his way back, and had almost frozen to death until a big, black wolf showed up and led him back to civilization. He’d never forget that. “Idiot”, a raw voice broke through the silence and Stiles froze. Shit. Did Derek hear everything the Slytherin had said? “What?” Stiles repeated raising his eyebrows. He suddenly felt insecure about this. He never really talked to Derek before. “Wandering alone into forests every time… What the hell was your business out there?” Derek snorted and Stiles’ eyebrows rose further upon his forehead. “Are you telling me that you were worried about me?” He was kidding, right? But the glint in his bright green eyes told Stiles in a silent manner, that Derek was fucking serious. He also didn’t answer him, and with that, he confirmed Stiles’ suspicion. “I just wanted to help the injured wolf”, Stiles repeated quietly after a while. He didn’t know that the wolf was also Derek fucking Hale, but even if that had been the case, for him it didn’t matter… The Slytherin kept this thought for himself. There was complete silence for one or two minutes. “Thank you. For… well. Saving me. You’re going to be okay soon, right?” Silence again, but then Derek nodded slightly and Stiles wondered what his facial expression could possibly mean. He looked somehow… lonely. Where is his pack? Stiles wondered and sat down on a chair next to the bed, his legs felt still weak. He wanted to accompany him. By this time all other students were already back at home to celebrate the holidays. Scott, Stiles’ best friend, included. And so time went on, silent but not uneasy or awkward. Stiles gaze wandered through the room. Christmas decor was floating in the air, even some of those moving portrait figures were wearing Christmas clothes. What a picture - ha, what a pun … “Why did you save me? I mean…”, Stiles slowly began to talk. “It’s my fault. I didn’t expect to be attacked, it was stupid to go into the Forbidden-…” “Shut up, Stiles”, Derek cut him off. It seemed that he wasn’t the most patient guy in the world. “Hey”, he began, but a few seconds later he realized that Derek had called him by his name. “Why do you even know my name?” Stiles added after a while, sceptical and shoving a chocolate frog - found a few minutes ago, abandoned in its package and in an empty bed next to Derek’s - in his mouth. “Mh, these are so good.” He saw Derek’s expression of distaste, guessing he didn’t like them. “You don’t know what you’re missing.” “Disgusting.” “Well, grumpy wolf, I asked you a question. And I will not stop talking until you answer me”, Stiles smirked and a low, dull croak came from inside his mouth. It was the chocolate frog. “Our mothers were friends.” Silence. “She wanted me to watch over you”, Derek added. “What?” He didn’t say more than that. Stiles was speechless. His mother knew Derek’s mother? They were friends? Inside his chest, Stiles’ felt an edgy but warm tingle. He wanted to know more about their friendship. He definitely would ask Derek about it soon. “You heard me,” he remained silent a moment, “but I don’t do this just because she wanted me to.” Stiles wondered what that could possibly mean and furrowed his brows. “Why else would you unless… you… actually like me?” Derek frowned and Stiles closed his mouth at this sight to prevent himself from babbling or saying anything more - at least for now. Except… his mind was racing again and he couldn’t be quiet. “Not that it matters in any way. Um. I just… I thought you hated me, okay?” He saw how Derek furrowed his brows and how his eyes dared him to go on. “Yeah. Gazing at me like that… that’s why.” “You’re an idiot.” “What? Why? That’s not really gentle either, ok? Don’t be such a sourwolf. And yeah, I know that you were the wolf in the forest. And you know what? It didn’t matter if I knew it at the time or not, I’d have followed you anyway.” Stiles took a deep breath, he wasn’t finished yet, but… “Shut up.” Again his lips shut together and heated, unspoken words turned his face into a pout. The silence that followed his outburst was only disturbed by Derek, sighing quietly. “I don’t hate you.”

I never refresh tumblr so from 3 hours ago, made up fic title iiiiiiiis Gnomeland Security and the Promiscuous Prancing Antelope Prince. Good luck coming up with an outline for this nonsense.

(I logged into tumblr earlier and saw this and almost died lmaoooooooooooo. WHY XANDRA WHYYY?????? I hope you’re happy, I wrote you a short thing. Let’s call it a late birthday/early christmas gift.) So obviously, a Sterek gnome bodyguard! au. Derek is Gnomeland Security, and Stiles is the Promiscuous Prancing Antelope Prince. No one ever expects Promiscuous Prancing Antelope Prince Stiles to settle down because “Gnomes will be Gnomes.” But he is heir to the throne, and Gnome King Sheriff Stilinski needs Stiles to mature and start taking his responsibilities seriously. So, he hires a new bodyguard to make sure Stiles behaves and stays in line from now on, hoping that Derek will hold Stiles accountable for his actions. Something no one has ever done before. Except Derek makes a mistake by not believing that the Promiscuous Prancing Antelope Prince is as bad as people say. Stiles is so much worse . He’s a menace to gnome society and is the most mischievous gnome ever, constantly sneaking off to do naughty gnome things whenever Derek turns his back. All of which is way above Derek’s pay grade. And because of this Derek totally hates Stiles’ guts. He doesn’t find Stiles’ shit-eating grins cute or the fact that Stiles can’t tell a single convincing lie endearing. He definitely isn’t affected by Stiles’ pouting and huge brown eyes. None of that is adorable to him at all. Because having to follow around a lazy, spoiled, promiscuous, prancing prince around is the worst job EVER, and Derek deserves all the gnome medals. But the thing is, around Derek, Stiles actually IS trying to behave. Or to the best of his ability. Because Derek is the prettiest gnome he’s ever seen in his life, and Stiles wants to be good for him. Really good! *wink wink* His interest in Derek surpasses his usual gnome sluttiness. His father is a mastermind for finding him such a beautiful bodyguard, knowing Stiles would be powerless to Derek’s allure. Stiles hasn’t been able to look at another gnome in weeks. But then one day, Derek catches Stiles doing something super stupid and dangerous, and Derek ends up saving Stiles’ life. He’s a hero in the gnome world and Stiles falls even more in love with him. But when Stiles tries to thank him, Derek tells him to shove it, and that he hates Stiles and hates his job. Which yeah, totally breaks Stiles’ heart. So, Stiles goes to find a magical gnome witch (are gnome’s already magical? Idk cuz I’m fucking creeped out by gnomes and you know this!!!) and asks her to make a potion to take away all of Stiles’ bad traits and impulsive nature. That way, one day Derek might love him. After drinking the potion, Stiles becomes the most tamed, well-behaved gnome to have ever lived. His behavior is absolutely perfect, and he doesn’t cause havoc or chaos at all. At first, the Sheriff and Derek are so pleased at this change, but after a while, they start missing the old Stiles. Derek is so torn, because while this new Stiles doesn’t do anything infuriating, like endangering his life and the future of the throne, he knows Stiles can’t be happy like this. There’s no roguish sparkle behind Stiles’ eyes anymore. Kind of like he’s a robot. It’s getting really annoying watching Stiles do everything he’s told to a T, and Derek honestly can’t believe how much he wants the old Stiles back. Beyond fed up, Derek tracks down this magical gnome witch who tells him Stiles only did this because he wants Derek to love him. She also tells him that the only way to get the old Stiles back is for Derek to confess that he loves Stiles for who he is. Of course, Derek and his man pain feels super guilty for making Stiles think he had to do something like this to himself to get Derek to like him. He rushes back to Stiles and tries to confess his love but runs into a problem when obedient Stiles seems more focused on making sure he’s following all of Derek’s orders instead of paying attention to what Derek has to say. So, he grabs Stiles and kisses him until he feels that impish grin slowly creeping back onto Stiles’ face. And Derek’s so happy to have him back, he tells Stiles he loves him the way he is and that he never has to follow Derek’s orders ever again. He regrets this in the future, of course. So much. Like so so much. But what are ya gonna do. Send me a made up fic title

dontgostakinmyheart replied to your post “_” Okay but you can’t tell us that story and then not give us his response????!!!!! LOL, he said ‘should i be concerned…?” (like i said in my tags), and then i explained (without naming names ofc) and then he was like “oh no, it definitely doesn’t want to be friends’ or something like that, and i was like ‘that’s the WORST text to accidentally send to your boyfriend’ and he said something like ‘i took ap bio, i know periods exist ;)’ and i was like ‘i’m glad you’re not a fuckboy who pretends they don’t’ and now we’re just joking around, so all is well :P

dontgostakinmyheart replied to your post “absolutely disgusting day so far. trying not to break down proving to…” I’m sorry, sweetie. I hope you feel better soon. I know how you feel and I know you’ll get through it. It’s okay to break down if you need to. Sometimes it helps. <3 yeah and i usually do but uni isn’t the best place for that yano. thank you though, really, i really appreciate that :) bansheeqveen replied to your post “absolutely disgusting day so far. trying not to break down proving to…” love you marta! hope everything gets better soon. :) thanks kale, i really hope so too. love you too bb :)

I believe in you! I've done many a night before essays. Better to turn at least something in; even it's poor quality or doesn't meet all of the requirements. You can turn it in and maybe meet with your professor and explain that you were having a rough time. Go grab a snack of your fave food, a nice tea or something and throw some stuff onto the paper. Take a ten minute break every hour. Sometimes I take a bath and hand write papers. It's relaxing even if the notebook gets a bit wet. Good luck!

omg i love you so much! i actually bothered to finish it, although i submitted it an hour late (i hope he cuts me some slack lmao). i have completely bsed the entire essay and its out of 100, pray that i get more than a 70!!! and thank you so so much this actually motivated me to do it.

“I have decided to stick to love…Hate is too great a burden to bear.” MarrishNW Secret Santa for @dontgostakinmyheart Supposed to start out as hatred for the other consuming them, making them a big blob, and as they let go of the hate, they start to become more clear.

@dontgostakinmyheart replied to your post “hey guys! i desperately need something new to listen to/watch while i…” Do you want the video of Brendon Urie covering a bunch of Disney songs? It’s Death of a Bachelor meets Disney. Yes!!! That would be awesome!!!

i think we can all collectively agree that cover letters need to fall in a hole and die and never come out

four mutuals have already used my clueless icons you guys are the best

Have you heard of Jeremy Jordan? He's like the god of broadway. He was in the show Smash and he plays Whinn on Supergirl. He was also in the Last 5 years with Anna Kendrick. His voice is like the most amazing thing I've ever heard. You should look him up on youtube. It's what I do when I'm sad. Hope this helps? Much love.

oooh he’s really cute!! thanks for the suggestion! <3 <3

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear @dontgostakinmyheart!!! I had to change a few details to fit the story, but I hope you’ll enjoy this little Sterek Hogwarts!AU. Romantic Beasts and Where to Find Them Stiles was nervous. He was currently sitting at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, trying to gulp down a quick lunch before he had to go and meet Derek. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, no, he absolutely did, but the thing was: they were going on a date. A real date. At Valentine’s Day. It was something Stiles’ could barely comprehend and zoned out over his waffles, staring at the many house-elves already running around busily in preparation of the traditional Valentine’s Dinner at the Great Hall in the evening. It was something a former headmistress had invented back in her days at the school, to get the four houses of Hogwarts to unite and build friendships among them regardless of what you got sorted into. It was a cool thing and Stiles was looking forward to spend the evening with his friends of different grades and houses. Hopefully he’d get to spent it with Derek as well, but Stiles pondered that’d depend on how their date would go. It was his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and for the first time Stiles had a date. Because he was convinced being sent to clean cauldrons with Lizzy Baxter back in second grade and then kissing her on the cheek didn’t count as a proper date. So today counted as his first, with Derek Hale. Stiles was supposed to go on a date with the Derek Hale, sixth year Gryffindor, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and somehow, mysteriously, Stiles’ maybe probably kind of boyfriend. It was still baffling to Stiles, how in the world he could’ve ended up with Derek Hale. They were pretty much polar opposites considering every angle you looked at it. Stiles was muggle born, Derek was a werewolf who also had magic – a rarity and interesting in itself; Stiles was a Slytherin, Derek was a Gryffindor. Granted, so was Stiles’ best friend Scott, but that was a story for another time. Stiles had always had a thing for going unconventional ways, Derek was a stickler to the rules; Stiles was happiest when doing research in the library, Derek was captain of the Quidditch team. Stiles had tried out for the Slytherin team exactly once and, well, it was better for everyone involved that he decided he was way better at staying in the stands and cheering the team on anyway. So while Derek had popularity and supernaturalism going for him and was also drop-dead gorgeous, Stiles was… not much. He was smart though and cute maybe, on a good day, if you were into 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bones, topped with a talent for potions and rounded up with probably too much sarcasm. Against all odds though, Stiles and Derek still worked well together, balancing each other out when Derek was too silent and Stiles talked to much. He had been hesitant in the beginning because he was inexperienced regarding relationships and everything he did or said felt awkward to himself, making him think Derek was going to run for the hills any second now. Over the last few weeks though, Stiles had discovered that luckily, despite his looks and following of admirers among the Hogwarts students, deep down Derek was plenty awkward as well and it all boiled down to them being two giant dorks who liked each other despite or maybe even because of everything. It hadn’t been too long ago though that Stiles thought Derek hated his guts. Stiles would hang around the Gryffindor common room quite a lot because Scott was there and while Stiles was proud to be a Slytherin and felt comfortable with his house, he couldn’t get why he shouldn’t be allowed to spend time with his best friend at said best friend’s dorm or common room. So if he wanted to see Scott and Gryffindor Tower was where he could find him, Stiles didn’t mind at all. But he thought Derek did. He had always been rather cold towards Stiles, dismissive at the least and, glaring at him from his spot over at the common room table, he was obviously planning Stiles’ untimely death, getting so worked up on his anger that his cheeks flushed when caught Stiles glancing over. Or so Stiles had thought, and it had hurt because as a matter of fact he really liked Derek. The guy was way smarter than he let on for some reason and regularly made Stiles’ heart flutter and insides melt when he witnessed him helping out first graders with their homework or other kids on the Quidditch field. Wednesday two weeks ago though, Stiles had had it with Derek’s antics after he caught him sneering at a silly story Stiles had been telling Scott and Allison, and he couldn’t take it anymore. Marching over to Derek, he confronted him. “Jeez, Derek. What is your problem with me? Is it because I’m an evil Slytherin tainting your precious Gryffindor Tower? Did I mutter to myself too loudly again in the library yesterday? Because you could’ve just found yourself a different table to sit at easily enough. It’s not like I forced you there or something. So really, please explain your problem, Derek, so maybe I can avoid annoying you so damn much in the future you have to roll your eyes at everything I ever say.” Derek looked paralyzed for a moment, before the expression on his face went from carefully blank to hurt and then angry in about three seconds. Slamming his book on the table he stood up to look Stiles in the eye when he answered. “Maybe I just don’t know how to behave around you, alright?” Stiles just blinked. “What is that supposed to even mean?” “Well, maybe I just like you.” Stiles was stunned into silence by Derek’s words, because that couldn’t be the truth at all. Taking a mental step back he briefly considered just leaving before the buzz of irritation flared up inside of him again. Derek seemed to simply bring it out in him. “Well, maybe you should stop with your weirdo version of pigtail pulling then, grow a pair instead and ask me on a date.” “Maybe I will.” “Fine.” “Fine!” Derek stared at him for little bit longer than necessary, but no more words came out of his mouth. He rather huffed and turned around, stomping off in the direction of the dorms. “Huh. Glad we cleared that up,” Scott stated from the other side of the room, waggling his eyebrows at Stiles. Stiles couldn’t believe it. He threw himself on the couch next to his best friend, groaning loudly. “What the hell even happened back there, Scotty?” “How the hell should I know, dude. I always told you Derek liked you though. You just chose not to believe me.” “Not helping, Scott.” Scott raised his hands in defeat at the scowl Stiles shot his way, “Just saying, man.” He looked way too smug for Stiles’ liking. * And that had been their beginning. In retrospect Stiles found it pretty telling they confessed their feelings of affection and attraction by yelling at each other. The memory still made him smile several times a day. So today was Valentine’s Day at Hogwarts, Stiles was in his fifth year and for the first time he had a date. He knew Derek had planned something for them, but Stiles was at a complete loss as to what it might be. They hadn’t really been dating in the classical sense before, hadn’t kissed or even held hands yet, but taking it slow instead. So they sat together in the library doing their homework in companionable silence or took long walks along the Hogwarts grounds, simply enjoying each other’s company. This afternoon was their first real date though and Stiles hoped for some real development. Derek had sent him a letter at breakfast, telling Stiles to meet him outside the castle after classes, so they could start the rest of the day together. Stiles had been relieved that, whatever Derek’s idea for a first date might turn out to be, they obviously would walk there together. Stiles knew that Derek was into him and was sure above anything else that he would never be mean to Stiles on purpose, still, deep down he had been a little afraid of, say, meeting him at Madam Puddifoot’s only to discover Derek had decided he didn’t like Stiles enough to be worth the hassle and rather not show up to begin with. His insecurities flew right out the window thought when he saw Derek walking towards him, a shy smile playing around his lips but eyes bright with excitement when he came to a stop in front of Stiles. “Ready, Stiles?” he asked and reached for his hand as Stiles started nodding enthusiastically. “Very ready,” Stiles replied, squeezing Derek’s hand softly, marveling at the slight blush that started creeping over Derek’s cheeks when he squeezed back. Maybe Derek really had been rather flustered all those times before, when Stiles thought he had been angry about Stiles’ presence. Huh. Who would’ve thought. After they had been walking in silence for a few minutes, the path they were taking clearly leading down to the village of Hogsmeade, Stiles couldn’t contain his curiosity anymore. “So, where are you taking me? Are we going to Madam Puddifoot’s, drink hot chocolate and get shot at by chubby little cupids like all the cool kids do?” He knew his eyebrow waggling was over the top, but sometimes he couldn’t help it. Derek would just have to learn how to deal. Derek stopped dead in his tracks, turning to face Stiles with a frown, visibly paling a little and his mouth dropping open to show what Stiles secretly considered the cutest bunny teeth ever. “What? No, I…Would you want that?” Derek seemed so disappointed and out of his depth at that moment, it made Stiles feel like he kicked a bunny. “I didn’t think you’d ever want that.” Derek’s voice sounded small and Stiles grabbed his Gryffindor scarf, curling his hand into it and against Derek’s chest. “No,” he shouted. “No, Derek. I absolutely do not want that. I was just curious and I know it’s what everyone else does, so I assumed. I…,” he hesitated, “I’ve never been on a Valentine’s date before, you know. Actually, I’ve never been on a date period. I was just babbling and I’m sure I’m going to love whatever you planned.” The sincerity he spoke with luckily seemed to register with Derek because he looked relieved and, in the sweetest gesture Stiles’ had ever experienced, leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Stiles cheek. Stiles could feel his face flaming up at the sappiness it displayed, but he wasn’t able to suppress the grin he felt spreading over his features. Derek cleared his throat awkwardly, before grabbing Stiles’ hand again, pulling him further down the road. “Come on, we’re almost there.” * “The Shrieking Shack? Are you kidding me?” Stiles could barely hide his excitement as they stood in front of the abandoned house, staring up the ragged looking building. “I always wanted to go here, this is so cool, Derek.” He was already vibrating with impatience, pulling Derek towards the front door. “I know, Scott told me.” “You asked Scott?” “Yeah, well I… I wanted to make sure to do something you’d enjoy so you wouldn’t get bored, when it’s just me who’s around.” Stiles’ heart melted a little. “I’d never get bored with you Derek, you know that.” He threw Derek a quick, reassuring smile before turning to face the Shrieking Shack again. “Can we go in though? I thought it wasn’t allowed?” “It’s usually not, but -“ Derek rummaged around under his coat, pulling out a piece of metal that glinted in the late afternoon sun, “I have a key.” He knew he was staring unintelligently, but Stiles basically felt his jaw hitting the floor when it dropped. “You have a key. To the Shrieking Shack.” “Yeah, actually. It’s been in the family for a while now.” Something clicked in Stiles’ head as he made the connection. “Ooooh, werewolf. Right.” Derek nodded. “Come one, I’ll tell you inside.” It was eerily quiet inside the house, most of the boarded up windows only letting in sunlight through small cracks, layers of dust covering the floor and furniture so thick they swallowed even the sound of their steps. “Whoa,” Stiles gasped quietly, “this is even better than I imagined.” He took a look around before he carefully walked over to the staircase leading up to the second story of the house, minding the loose floorboards and sidestepping other junk that laid scattered around. “Look at these scratch marks, Derek.” The ridges in the wall felt deep and uneven under the tips of Stiles’ fingers. “Those were allegedly made by Remus Lupin, you know, the famous werewolf from the Harry Potter Hogwarts days.” Stiles jumped a little when Derek’s voice came from right next to him all of a sudden. He hadn’t heard him walk over at all. “Yeah, I know the stories, of course. But if he went feral and had to stay here during the full moons, how come you or other werewolves don’t have to be locked away? I always wondered about that.” Derek nodded. “It’s not a very commonly known thing, and since the stories about Harry Potter and therefore Remus Lupin are widely popular, the rest of werewolf mythology doesn’t get much exposure, if at all.” “Is it safe to climb up the stairs? You can tell me about it while we explore.” Derek smiled shyly at Stiles’ words, evidently pleased with Stiles’ interest in the topic. “Yeah, it’s safe,” he replied as he started ascending the stairs, beckoning Stiles to follow him. “The main point is that there are both born werewolves as well as bitten ones. With the bitten wolves, like Remus Lupin was, it’s like a disease. The human body cannot contain the shift and people go mad with aggression and pain. That’s where all the scratches on the walls, ripped curtains and broken furniture in here come from. It’s one of the biggest crimes in werewolf society to bite a human. It’s just… it’s not right.” “I can see that. It must’ve been horrible for them, too.” Stiles mused. “Yes, but at least he couldn’t hurt anyone else in here. My family on the other hand, we are born werewolves. We learn control early on as kids, and when we shift – which we actually don’t until we’re about twelve, thirteen years old – we look like ordinary wolves, albeit a little bigger.” Stiles had let his hands wander over the sofa they had walked towards, stirring up years old dust and loose shreds of what must’ve been a pillowcase once, while listening intently. His head snapped up at Derek’s words about shifting. “Could you shift right now?” Derek let out a small chuckle, clearly amused. “Nah, only when it’s the full moon.” Stiles felt a tiny little surge of disappointment at that, but nodded in acknowledgment. “Ah, makes sense.” When he looked back up at Derek he saw a glint of mischief in those hazel-green eyes and smirk tugging at the corner of Derek’s lip. “I can howl though,” Derek stated, taking Stiles’ hand to drag him over to one of the windows. “Ready?” he asked, but didn’t wait for an actual answer before tipping his head back and letting out a, Stiles couldn’t describe it as anything else, a wolf’s howl. “That. Was. Awesome.” Stiles shouted, almost punching Derek in the face with his flailing hands. “Yeah, yeah,“ Derek brushed it aside, but Stiles could see the pleased smile giving Derek’s face such a soft look, he simply had to kiss Derek. It was gentle and short, yet lasted a little longer than the previous one, which had really been only a peck on the cheek than a real kiss. “Thank you for showing me, Derek. This was an amazing first date.” Derek ducked his head, scratching the back of his neck. “Uhm. In fact I had planned something else, too? We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I thought we could go to “The Mended Cauldron” and just have a butterbeer or something and talk? I hear their hot chocolate is very good.” “Of course I want to go. Come on wolf-boy, show me the way.” The rest of their afternoon together went by quicker than Stiles thought, with them sharing childhood stories about growing up as a muggle and a werewolf, chatting about their favorite Quidditch players and what they might end up doing professionally in the future. It was nice and simple, not an awkward second between them and there were butterflies in Stiles’ stomach whenever Derek grazed his thumb over the palm of Stiles’ hand absently while talking. Because yes, they had held hands the whole time and it had been the best thing ever. * When they eventually left the cozy corner at “The Mended Cauldron” to make their way back to the Hogwarts, dusk was already starting to set and they had to hurry as to not miss the opening of the common Valentine’s Dinner at the Great Hall. It was right before they entered to go and join their friends at the tables, when Derek stopped Stiles. “So, did you have a good time today, Stiles?” “Yes, Derek, the best to be honest. There’s only one thing missing really.” Derek tilted his head in confusion, his nose scrunching up adorably as he obviously pondered what Stiles could be meaning. He shrugged helplessly, throwing Derek a sheepish smile and mumbling “A real kiss, maybe?” Derek huffed a laugh at that and stepped closer to Stiles, right into his personal space. Wrapping his arms around Stiles’ waist he pulled him flush against his body, his gaze flicking down to Stiles’ lips before he leaned in and closed the distance between them. As far as first real kisses go, Stiles couldn’t imagine anything better than the one they shared then and the many more that’d follow. FIN.

Ohemgosh! Happy Birthday!!!! Hope you have an amazingly splendiferous day!!! :D

I did have an amazing day and thank you for wishing good for me! I love u :)

i think i’ll forego a costume this year and do Harley Quinn next year when i can actually celebrate within my bestie in a new city.

dontgostakinmyheart respondeu a sua postagem : I still got a week to go in this hell of semester,… Good luck on the rest of your semester; you got this! And awesome job on the exam :D Thanks Xandra! Means a lot babe <3

OHEMGOSH HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I hope you have an AMAZING day!!!

THANK YOU XANDRA!! <3

To Katie ( @ofrosesandravenstags ) From Xandra ( @dontgostakinmyheart ) Derek expected Stiles to be one of those people to start counting down to Christmas on December 26 th . He prepared himself for ugly Christmas sweaters, copious amounts of eggnog, an ungodly amount of garland, and Stiles’ devious grin to make it all worth it. Derek picked up his phone for the fourth time in the past hour. “Stiles. Pick up now or I’m coming over. I don’t know what’s going on with you but get your ass… I’m worried. Okay? Just… Pick up. Please.” Derek waited ten minutes before he grabbed his keys and ran to the Camaro. He slammed the keys into the ignition and took off toward the Stilinski house. He didn’t bother with the door, opting for the window instead. He leapt up and slammed open the window. Derek surveyed the situation with a grimace; Stiles was sprawled on the bed with a near empty bottle of jack, blanketed by Christmas cards worn on the edges and stained with age. The pieces of the puzzle began to click. Stiles’ mom. Derek internally scolded himself for not realizing it sooner. All of the signs of grief were there; he should know better than anyone. Derek hadn’t noticed Stiles beginning to stir. He a heard a small croaky voice say “It was my mom’s favorite holiday.” Derek nodded his head, not knowing what else to do. Stiles looked at him with sad eyes and a silent plea to fix everything. “Go take a shower, Stiles.” Derek ordered. Stiles dragged himself out of the room and into the bathroom while Derek got his phone out for the sixth time. “Hello? Sherriff, it’s Derek. We need to talk. ——————————————————————- Derek wasn’t one to mix himself into other people’s business. When it had no place in a pack meeting, it wasn’t his place. This was different. This was Stiles.His Stiles. The boy he… He needed to fix it. He had to. That vacant person he’d just seen was not Stiles. Derek walked up to the police station; he could hear his own heart beating faster than usual. He could take on kanimas and an alpha pack but Stiles’ dad was… Something else. He was an alpha werewolf for fuck’s sake; he could do this. He took a deep breath and walked into the office with purpose. “Derek,” The Sheriff said curiously, “What is it that you need to talk about??” “Your son.” “Oh?” “When was the last time you spent Christmas with him? When was the last time you didn’t make him spend it alone?” Derek asked. “Son, my personal life isn’t any of your b-“ “I found him cradling a pile of old cards with enough whiskey in his system to knock over over a cow. Stiles is my pack. Stiles is my business.” The sheriff had paled significantly; a look of guilt plagued his face. “I usually try to take extra shifts around the holidays. It’s too hard.” The sheriff slipped out before he could stop himself. “How do you think Stiles feels? Spending every Christmas alone, in her house, surrounded by all of the memories. Alone; on Claudia’s favorite holiday.” Derek asked gently. The sherriff’s face whipped up. “He told you that?” Derek nodded and added “I think he needs to be with pack tomorrow. Can you get off and come to my house at five?” Derek asked. “Sure, kid.” The sheriff said. If five years ago Derek had been told he would be throwing a holiday party for a bunch of teenagers, he would have laughed in their face. But Derek knew how hard it was to cope with loss on your own. He didn’t want that for Stiles. The pack deserved a break; they all did. ——————————————————————– Derek drove to the Stilinski house at 4:45 on Christmas day. He opted to use the door this time; knocking incessantly until the door was answered by a bleary eyed Stiles. Stiles stared vacantly at Derek, a silent challenge on his face. “Can I come in?” Derek conceded. Stiles pursed his lips and gestured into the house. Derek walked in without a word, unsure of how to break the tension. He walked straight into the kitchen, pulled out two mugs, and searched for the hot coco mix he knew had to be somewhere. “Thanks,” Stiles muttered with a suspicious glint in his eyes. “I know how hard it is,” Derek started. “To be… Without someone. I just… I don’t want you to be alone. Like I was.” “I know.” Stiles said softly. “Every year, I know. Scott gets worried, Dad gets drunk. It’s just… Too much you know? I can’t deal with people; I can’t deal with the fucking memories. The last Christmas with her… She didn’t even know who I was. That was… I hate it.” Derek looked at Stiles guiltily. “How about two people?” Derek asked. “Can you celebrate with two people? It can be just your dad and me.” “Dad’s working. He always works on Christmas.” Stiles said. “Not this year he isn’t.” Derek said with a small smile. Stiles looked at him hopefully; after a beat he launched himself at Derek. “Thank you.” He whispered into Derek’s hair. “I got you something,” Derek said. He pulled out a Santa hat from the black bag. It had Star Wars written in green on the white fir and Yoda ears protruding from the sides. “I saw it and thought of you. You don’t have to wear it if it’s… Too much.” Derek said. Stiles smiled wistfully at him and said “Mom and I used to watch them together.” Stiles tentatively reached his hand out and touched the hat softly. Derek looked at Stiles, asking for permission, and sipped the hat over his ears. Derek looked down to hide his smile. “Hey, do you want to head to the car? I have to make a call.” Derek said. ——————————————————————– “Scott. You’re not going to like it, but this is what Stiles needs and this is about him. It’s just going to be him, the sheriff and I tonight. He can’t do a big party with the whole pack. He wants to spend some time with his dad. Maybe next year. Can you let the rest of the pack know?” Derek said. “I know, I know. Thanks for your help man.” Derek said. ——————————————————————- As they pulled up to Derek’s loft, Stiles’ jaw went slack with shock. “It looks like a Christmas card.” Stiles said. Derek shifted his eyes and said, “Yeah, we may have gone a little overboard?” “It’s friggen snowing outside of your loft Derek. I think you surpassed overboard.” Stiles quipped. “Well… You know Scott…” Derek trailed off. “Don’t front. This was totally you. Trying to blame it on Scott. Really Derek? You can stop pretending you don’t care. We all know you do.” Stiles said. They both walked into the house with small smiles. ——————————————————————– Stiles was greeted by his dad at the door. “Hi son. I know we haven’t done the whole Christmas thing in a while, but I want to start now. Your mom would be so disappointed in me for avoiding it for this long. I’m sorry.” He said uncomfortably. “It’s okay, Dad. I wasn’t any better. But from now on… I wouldn’t mind spending some time and just… Remembering her?” Stiles said. “We can do that” The sheriff awkwardly pulled a gift out from behind his back. “your mom…” He started. “Your mom wanted me to wait until you were 18, but I think now is the right time.” He handed Stiles a package wrapped in worn paper that was torn at the edges. Stiles held it gingerly and took a moment to ready himself for whatever was inside. He opened the package unsteadily to reveal a hand written note. Dearest Kochanie, I asked your dad to give this to you at your high school graduation. Knowing him, he’s either early or late. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t be there for all of your milestones. For all of the birthdays and Christmases. Your graduation, your wedding, I’m sorry baby. You’ve grown up so fast. I know it’s hard to see me like this. I know there are going to be moments when I forget who you are, or maybe even become violent. But never question for a minute that I love you. I love you with everything I have. This thing can make me forget sometimes, but you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I want you to live your life. I want you to be so, so happy. I know your dad is going to be hard to handle. He’s not going to take this well when I’m gone, but please don’t shut each other out. We didn’t have a lot of time, Kochanie. This is your grandfather’s pocket watch. I hope that when you look at it you remember how little time we all have. Live every minute of Kochanie, don’t stop for me. Don’t stop for your dad. Live. Kocham Cię. – Mama. By the time Stiles got to the end of the letter, his face was ashen and he was fighting back tears. The sheriff looked on helplessly and Derek walked over to Stiles. “Hey, you don’t have to hold it in for anyone here. If you need to cry, do it. No one is judging you, Stiles.” Derek said. Stiles walked over to his dad; the sheriff engulfed him into a hug. “She didn’t show me the letter, she said it was just just for you.” He muttered. “I miss her, Dad.” Stiles whispered. “Me too son.” ——————————————————————– They ate dinner together in a mostly comfortable silence. “I’m sorry, son but I have to head back to the station. Will you be okay with Derek?” The sheriff asked. “Sure, Dad. Thanks… For this.” Stiles said. The sheriff gave his son another hug and smiled knowingly at Derek. Derek cleared the plates and tossed them into the sink. ——————————————————————– “I have something for you.” Derek said softly. “Derek, this was enough. You didn’t have to get me anything.” Stiles said. “You know me well enough to know that I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.” Derek replied. Derek grabbed a present from under the tree and handed it to Stiles. Stiles grabbed it out of his hands and ripped off the wrapping paper. When he saw what was inside, he buckled over laughing. “Oh my God, Derek. Really?” Stiles held up a pair of Batman boxers with a cape hanging off of the band. Derek looked up at him with a real smile. “I thought they would make you smile.” “Mission accomplished.” Stiles said. “I didn’t get you anything…” Stiles muttered. “I don’t need anything. Seeing you… Like this. It’s… enough.” Derek whispered. Stiles stared at Derek’s shy smile for a minute before leaning in closer. Derek was transfixed on Stiles’ face and closed the distance between them. Their mouths met for a slow, languid kiss that lasted for about a minute. “About time. Christen that mistletoe we must.” Stiles said in a poor imitation of Yoda. Derek rolled his eyes and dragged Stiles to the doorway with a small smile. ——————————————————————– Side note: Polish translations Kochanie - darling Kocham Cię. – Mama. – I love you- Mom Sorry if this got super depressing! I hope you like it and I hope it’s fluffy enough. I see a lot of fics where Derek is the one without any holiday spirit, but I kind of wanted to switch it around and have Derek be the one coaxing Stiles into celebrating again. I hope I was successful? Happy holidays!