#writing struggles

which part of smut r u struggling with?

Well, I’ve been working on a Ghostface fic since February. Just a one shot. And it’s taken me so long because whenever I get to the smut I have no idea what to write. I rewrote the section so many times I have lost count already. I finished writing the fic yesterday, it was getting proofread last night by my best friend so I’m doing final edits today. But I hated what I wrote. I’m just always so unsure of how the body sensations should be written (like orgasms, the sex, etc.), the actions other than keeping them in basic sex positions (what do the hands and legs even do, how should the characters move, what positions). Describing things is challenging and explaining what I’m struggling is difficult as well. Because it’s not a single thing. It’s a lot of other things. I write the smut, I post my fics, and I pray that what I wrote makes sense. Because it feels a lot like choreographing a dance and not being a choreographer. I love smut, I love reading it and I love being able to write it. I’m aware it doesn’t have to be perfect, it’s fan fiction, but I’m extremely serious about my writing even if it’s fanfiction. Unfortunately that can be a good thing and a bad thing. I feel like my skills fluctuate. For example, I’m extremly proud of the sex in “Irreverent” (a Predator fic), I think for it being the first time I ever write MM intimacy I did well and I enjoyed writing it, it was so much fun and I fell even more in love with my OCs, getting to see their romance and bond. Then my last Angel fic “Mistake #1…” I was struggling with the smut again there and I’m not 100% satisfied with the results. In summary, I cannot condensed the where I’m struggling with the smut… It’s driving me crazy and I just want to be proud to share what I write, not just think “eh, good enough I guess”. I hope this answered some of the question 😭

i hate myself for writing characters who be fuckin bc i have no idea how to tag things bc my work thus far exists in the weird liminal space between “yeah you could read this at work and probably not get a weird look unless your coworkers are REAL pearl clutchers” and “these characters definitely fucked/are going to fuck, its just not written out here”

one of the funny things about picking fcs is that i picked some of them before others which leads to awkward moments if im putting them next to each other visually like for one of the scribbles i just wrote going with that scribble, it was written with wesley and i ended up surprising myself by having ben make a cameo. wes and sol’s fcs are already backwards since sol is older than him but shawn ashmore is older than jenna coleman, but ben and his fc make it so much worse ben is 11 years older than sol, putting him at 48 years old in season one and like 53+ by the time the scribble actually takes place. granted, i get to kinda just wave my hand and say “fuck it” bc hes also locarian and locarians in all their wonderful immortality dont physically age past 25/30 but his fc is all of 31 years old 😭😭 ive just been using gifs as the graphic for the scribbles bc im way too lazy to make a collage for all of them but having wesley next to ben just makes me LAUGH bc it looks like THIS (not the gifs i used but you get the point) i just cant take them seriously 😭😭 not only is ben supposed to be 13 years older than wesley but hes supposed to have terrifying big brother energy and he just. doesnt. im too stubborn to change bens fc or find an older fc for him even if i keep the younger one (esp bc of the aforementioned “locarians dont physically age” thing) but its just making me giggle. they look like father and son.