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hello oomf im here to annoy you i miss jeaneil so bad … do you have any spare jeaneil thoughts to share …. @queenconsort
if you miss jeaneil and i miss jeaneil…. who’s writing the fics? an assortment of random headcanons (sorry of i’ve already said some of themmmmm i have memory disorder) genuinely some of the most possessive men alive, but weirdly not that jealous? why would they be when they see themselves as belonging to the other or as extensions of themselves neil does not particularly enjoy motorcycling but he does like to backpack. jean gets him a custom helmet with fox ears and in return, neil covers jean’s helmet in little stickers. most of them are from neil’s away games but some are just things that remind neil of jean they have memberships to all the local zoos/gardens/museums and regularly visit others while travelling. neil likes the animals, jean likes the flowers, and they both enjoy people watching. it’s like exposure therapy for them jean has a taste for luxury living and neil gets roped into it since jean does the shopping for both of them. designer clothes, fragrances, accessories, cars. neil knows it’s expensive stuff, if only because it’s the type of quality he was taught to look for when stealing but he has no idea the true value of the stuff he wears and uses daily they are so fucking weird about touching each other. they are the kind of people who say they hate PDA then you look over and neil is sitting on jean’s lap. their specific brand of physical affection is just so ingrained in their daily routine that they think nothing of it neil is constantly bringing jean little items. he’s pebbling. jean’s jacket pockets are constantly full of shiny rocks, lucky pennies, tiny bits of twisted wire, dried flowers, origami made from gum wrappers, and the occasional stolen knick knack besides the keychains, their keyrings are identical. every key is copied. oh jean’s coach said not to make a copy of the gym key? that is too bad! i would never! jean says while handing neil a still warm key, freshly cut jean hates flying so neil just so happens to accompany him on most of his away games. neil gets to explore the city and jean gets to have his guard dog in a place he feels uncomfortable everyone (who knows him) expects jean to quit exy as soon as his moriyama contract allows but he doesn’t. he and neil’s salaries were too expensive for any one team to pay so they were never on the same team. jean takes the paycut and plays his final season with his partner
Me: haha I will finally sit down and watch Jaffa Factory 2. Let’s see what weird lore Barry has added to the cannon. *50 ish episodes in* PRINCESS DAAAAAAVVEEEE 😭😭😰😭😱😰
It's been a while since I've read the books, but hot take: I hate how the majority of the fandom hates Dylan. Like, it's one thing to hate him with how he acts towards Max, but it's another thing to hate him just because he gets “in the way” of Fang and Max. I mean, it's pretty stupid to hate someone so nice just for hoping to get something (well, someone) he wants; who WOULDN'T be doing that in his position? Dylan genuinely cared about Max. Sure, he was programmed to, but he really did care about and loved her. I'm shocked that no one in the fandom gets pissed at Fang—he kisses Max without her consent TWICE, flirted with other girls, left his family THREE times (after promising he wouldn't leave again), made Max become practically depressed and lose her one source of stability, and got mad at Dylan for getting close to Max when he didn't plan on seeing her again for TWO DECADES. Fang not only leaves Max multiple times, but he goes against her and splits the Flock up (extremely dangerous and a poor decision) and often casts her opinion to the side. Not to mention that we learned Fang's parents had him when they were teenagers, told Max that she's too young to be a Mom and should give herself TEN YEARS or so when he got her pregnant A YEAR LATER at 15-16 without even thinking about it. Max has confirmed multiple times that she's against teen pregnancy, marriage, and isn't ready to be a Mom even after she revealed she's carrying Fang's child. Max wants to keep everyone together and safe, and Fang seems to have no regard for that. Yeah, Fang loves Max, but he does a poor job of showing it. Max and Fang are so hormonal, like they need to chill on the make out sessions and needing their alone time when they should be focusing on the Flock. Everytime they kiss Max is like "We SMASHED together, it was WARM and I didn't BREATHE, and Fang had BIG HANDS." Like chill. Do they know that you can just peck on the lips sometimes? Like that's available for them.
oh, believe me, even reading maximum ride as an eleven year old, i was PISSED at fang 90% of the time. that didn’t stop me from also hating dylan. because, you see, boys are grody and max should just be allowed to do her own thing. and yeah, james patterson didn’t really adjust for age when writing this series; i think some of us have discussed this elsewhere, but he mainly just slapped adult thriller tropes onto YA characters and expected it to come across fine. which it really didn’t.
thinking ab the post where someone was like “you know that the prostate is like 2 inches inside of a person, right? we’re not reaching anything” followed by thinking ab youre the big rock im the little stone where gabe says “find it, if you can reach” and to tie it all up in a bow, matt rempe with jeans so empty theres a bunch of saggy fabric around his dick
had such an awful panic attack last night. bit my hand so hard that today it is bruised and raised and hurting. also scared jenna so bad. we are okay now but. fuck !
If I were to rewrite Maximum Ride: 1. There would be no romance or sex at all 2. Each character gets their own arc and development 3. No characters being attached to the hips of another 4. Make Max and Fang interact more with other members of the Flock BECAUSE IGGY, NUDGE AND GAZZY ARE SO UNDERWRITTEN 5. Max, Fang and Iggy having shenanigans together because they’re the oldest trio 6. Ari and Maya deserves better 7. I would love Dylan, Fang and Iggy hangout as the boys 8. Fang and Angel leading Fang’s Gang together 9. Erase plot holes, retcons and inconsistencies, etc 10. MAX ACTUALLY SAVES THE WORLD
all good things! (although very different from how i’d do it now.) i’d like to add on: jeb interacting with the other members of the flock. he basically raised them all, and yet in canon max and angel are the only ones he ever really speaks to. also, agreed, max and fang and iggy need to have more dumb teenage shenanigans.
if you like to listen to new music and support newer artists, this past week i have gotten really into azra. she has 11 songs and i have arranged them into a playlist in the order i would put them if they were all on an lp.
I’ve been joking with my friends for a while that I’m transitioning via manifestation because I’ve now had a few people ask me how long I’ve been on t (I’m not I’m just hairy). Apparently I’ve taken it up a notch and manifested a prostate (I don’t have one, the person who wrote my ultrasound report must have just either written it by rote or forgotten to take it out of the template)
24, 45, and 71 for the ask game :3
24. favorite crystal? moss agate :) i don’t know if that counts as a crystal but i loveeeeeee moss agate and it’s the only stone that i’ve taken the time/money to have some custom jewelry made because it can be hard to find 45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? i guess fantasy? i really don’t watch a lot of tv or movies but fantasy books can be fun 71. least favorite pattern? this feels like a cruelly vague question for an autistic person… pattern of what…. textiles? behaviour? color gradient? sewing pattern? i like patterns i can identify and i can identify most patterns :)
i hate to say it, but if the only tour date you have in a state is a festival, you do not actually have a show in that state
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