#gaylove
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Crystal Castles #1 - Kept II From Crystal Castles’ Chronicles ________________________________ He looked at the boy and wondered how much time they had left before the boy left. The sun was about to rise, so not long. Probably he’d be waking up shortly, then he would leave and they wouldn’t see each other ever again. That’s what always happens – people leave. It was okay, he was used to it by now, actually. Remnants of the song that played at the party hours ago – when they met – still played in his memory. It was a great song, he wondered how he could discover its name. The sky started to get lighter tones signaling that the sun was about to rise. He loved sunrises. Sun settings, too. There was something magical about the atmosphere of these moments of transition; night into day, day into night. And they were in a great spot to watch it – the roof of the building of the party in which they had met. He wondered if maybe he should wake the boy up so that they could watch the sunrise together. It would be nice to share this moment with someone, especially someone that he liked. Did he like the boy? He thought he did and that made him remember how shallow he was. He didn’t like the boy because he had grown to like the boy. They had spent only a few hours together. Also not because he loved the sex they had had. He liked the boy back when they kissed in the party and he knew he could like the boy even before then – moments before – when he saw the boy, standing there talking with those girls. As the sky got brighter, he thought about his losses. It was funny to think of it as losses, but they were just that, in a way. It came as a realization. There came a moment when he realized he had no one; everyone he thought he had by him, wasn’t actually there. That’s when he looked in retrospect and came to realize – he had never had anyone. Everyone he ever thought he had, every group he was part of, all throughout his life, he’d never been reciprocated. That is why it felt a bit like a loss – it was like losing the memory of being there, of being part of something, of being wanted as much as wanting. From then on he felt… detached. Detached from others, from connections. It sometimes felt like freedom, like independency, and he almost forgot the weight of detachment. But he remembered it every once in a while. He was on his own devices, there would be no one there to help him go through life, he’d have to help himself. What could he do? This sometimes happened, it’s part of life. But when not even his dog cared for him anymore, he felt it. It made him feel incapable of being loved. Not only by people, but by any creature. Because of that he was afraid of loving. He was afraid that if he loved, he would be too much. And the person would not be able to handle it. And then they would leave. He was afraid of having to live a life of straining himself so as not to be too much. That seemed exhausting, and he was already tired. He decided it was better to let the boy sleep. —Igor A. Silva 15 feb 2021 ________________________________ <- Back to index
Crystal Castles #1 - Kept I From Crystal Castles’ Chronicles ________________________________ “Failure is just practice for success”. That was the sentence he had in mind at the exact moment he stepped into the room. He had seen that somewhere but of course he didn’t remember where. Considering the number of guys he had looked in the hope he was doing the flirting thing correctly you could say that he was very well practiced and prepared for making out with someone, given that all he had done was failing. Since he had got to that party he was constantly looking around looking for pretty boys he could look to and hope that would somehow look back and flirt with him. But he knew that was not actually gonna happen. “I am not making out with anyone today, or ever, because I never do anything. Only people with attitude manage to call the attention. I don’t do anything, I am never calling anyone’s attention.” He thought to himself. The room was all white. It was weird actually, it was all covered in those middle-sized white ceramics, floor and all four walls. He didn’t actually look to the ceiling so he didn’t know what it was like. The lights were flickering. It was as if everyone and everything was moving frame by frame, as if it was all a non-buffered video. He didn’t know from where the lights came, he couldn’t see any equipment, but he didn’t pay much attention to this, he just focused on how the images he was seeing were misshapen and that made them funny. It was a pretty small room; he couldn’t actually tell what it was for, or even if it was for anything at all. Maybe it was a bathroom someday, full of urinals that were removed from the walls so that it got turned into a place to party. Maybe it was actually already built like that, aiming to get people to remark what a crazy place they were in and maybe like that help them hallucinate as they party overnight on LSD. He was not on LSD. He was actually curious about trying it, but had never. There was an electronic song playing as well as it has been playing all night; just another electronic, up-beat song as all of them. He stayed at a corner and since his hands were empty and he did not know what in seven hells to do with them, he just put them in his jeans’ pockets. He now gave a closer look around the room, which got him even more confused. It was longer than it was wide, there were two doors – which were opened by sliding them to the side –, one from which he had just come, and the other was right across, each of them at an extremity of the rectangular room. At the other corner of the same wall he was leaned on, there was a guy. He did not understand what this guy had, but as soon as he saw him he took his hands off of his pockets – he felt that he might use them –, moved away from the wall and started walking. At the exact moment he laid his eyes on that boy, a song that made him make a mental note to remember looking for its name later started playing; but this song was different, it was not the typical party music. It completely hypnotized him and as if pulling strings, led him to move towards the guy. The guy seemed to be talking, or more like, chitchatting with two girls he had on both sides but dropped whatever chat he was having when he got close and the guy saw him and immediately moved away from the wall as he had done before, as if they had rehearsed that encountering. When we reached each other, I smoothly passed my right hand over his hair and rested it on his occiput, pushing his head close to mine as I pushed his body with mine back to the corner he was leaned on, making the girls who were chitchatting with him go somewhere else. Our chests were together, our heads were close. When we were close enough, we just let our bodies fall towards the wall and when his back hit it my lips touched his. He could never describe how that kiss felt, because he had never felt anything alike. It was liberating. Neither of them thought of anything, they only lived that moment. They lived in that moment. I felt his hair on my right hand. He held my waist in his. I held his waist with my left hand. He touched my butt with his. Neither of them had any idea how much time they spent in that position, performing that kiss. I felt his hand on my waist and I can’t express how much I liked that. That pleased me like no other thing during a kiss had ever. It was so timid, he was discovering something new, that was a discovering for him, he was groundbreaking, and I was the one lucky enough to be there seeing this discovery almost as if it was a discovery for me too. His touching was timid despite the savageness of his kissing. It was the perfect combination. I pushed his body so that I could move away from that corner in which he had me closed in. I took my hand off of his butt and rested it on his chest. I took his hand and headed to the door that was right by us; in that moment an enormous fear took domain of me. I feared somehow in those few seconds before we passed through the door I would lose his hands and lose him to the crowd that populated the room. I was afraid I’d lose him and never see him again because in that moment I knew I couldn’t not see him again. I knew I could not lose him. I needed him again. I held his hand tight because I didn’t want to lose it. Ever since we first touched, I didn’t want to ever stop touching him. Our bodies should not move away from each other. He guided me to the door and I followed closely. —Igor A. Silva 09 jan 2019 ________________________________ <- Back to index
Sombras en Abbey Road ৻Mclenon⇢ - Epílogo: Los acordes que nunca terminaran. (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1630072411-sombras-en-abbey-road-%E0%A7%BBmclenon%E2%87%A2-ep%C3%ADlogo-los?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=MA3WOMS Entre risas, música y melodías que flotan en Abbey Road, John y Paul descubren algo inesperado: una chispa secreta que nace entre ellos. Una noche de aventuras y confidencias despierta emociones intensas que ambos deberán mantener ocultas, mientras el mundo sigue ajeno a lo que sucede. Durante un viaje a India, su cercanía se vuelve aún más intensa: miradas cargadas de significado, gestos que hablan más que las palabras y momentos que harán que cada día juntos sea inolvidable.
Polaroids of you (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/411896493-polaroids-of-you?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=Melancholy_Writing Eli spends most of his life behind a camera. Through the lens, the world feels easier to understand: rain-streaked windows, empty train stations, streetlights glowing after dark. Quiet moments. Quiet places. Things that don’t ask him to explain himself. When a stranger with the username goldenhourboys begins leaving thoughtful comments beneath his photographs, what starts as a shared love of photography slowly becomes something neither of them expects. Noah sees beauty in people. Eli sees it in places. Through late-night messages, community photography challenges, and playlists exchanged beneath the glow of laptop screens, the two boys begin revealing themselves piece by piece-without ever sharing their names, faces, or lives beyond the blog. As their connection deepens, so does tohe question neither of them is brave enough to ask: Can you miss someone you’ve never met? Told through alternating perspectives, Polaroids of You is a tender slow-burn romance about loneliness, art, first love, and the quiet ache of wanting to be known. It is a story of two boys falling for each other’s way of seeing the world long before they realize they’re falling for each other at all.
✦ 『 No nacimos para obedecer 』✦ - ✦ Prólogo - Una mujer no puede luchar (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1630498045-%E2%9C%A6-%E3%80%8E-no-nacimos-para-obedecer-%E3%80%8F%E2%9C%A6-%E2%9C%A6-pr%C3%B3logo-una?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=MA3WOMS ⛧ 1931 • Drovak • Guerra • Secretos ⛧ En Drovak, las mujeres nacieron para obedecer. Callar. Servir. Agachar la cabeza. Lidia Adler jamás aceptó eso. En un mundo gobernado por el miedo, la religión y la guerra, las mujeres no tienen derecho a luchar, y los judíos son perseguidos como si su existencia fuera un pecado. Pero Lidia está cansada de vivir encerrada bajo reglas creadas por hombres. Después de cortar su cabello y adoptar la identidad de Lian Adler, se infiltra en el ejército con un solo objetivo: demostrar que haber nacido mujer no la hace inferior. Sin embargo, la guerra no tarda en destruir todo lo que toca. Entre violencia, secretos, hambre y muerte, Lidia conocerá a Oscar Reinhardt y Omar Novak, dos soldados marcados por un sistema cruel que convierte a las personas en monstruos o en sobrevivientes. Y mientras Drovak arde lentamente, ocultar quién es podría ser más peligroso que la guerra misma. 🕯 “Algunos secretos pueden matar.”
Sombras en Abbey Road ৻Mclenon⇢ - Capítulo 7: Donde terminan las canciones. (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1630023794-sombras-en-abbey-road-%E0%A7%BBmclenon%E2%87%A2-cap%C3%ADtulo-7-donde?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=MA3WOMS Entre risas, música y melodías que flotan en Abbey Road, John y Paul descubren algo inesperado: una chispa secreta que nace entre ellos. Una noche de aventuras y confidencias despierta emociones intensas que ambos deberán mantener ocultas, mientras el mundo sigue ajeno a lo que sucede. Durante un viaje a India, su cercanía se vuelve aún más intensa: miradas cargadas de significado, gestos que hablan más que las palabras y momentos que harán que cada día juntos sea inolvidable.
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