#break ups

Ugh I’m single now. I still love women tho😒

I (28F) want to understand why my ex (28M) keeps reappearing in my life without actually staying I had a thing with a guy (28M) from 2018 to 2021. He ended it in 2021 saying we should stop talking completely because he “didn’t want to mislead me,” which honestly hurt a lot. After that we only did yearly birthday wishes/congratulations on achievements. That was it. Then in late 2023, he started having actual conversations with me again. Asking about my family, my life, catching up properly etc. I genuinely thought maybe he missed me or wanted to reconnect. Then suddenly he disappeared again and soft launched another girl on Instagram two days later. Since then, nothing. No birthday wishes anymore, no congratulations, nothing. But he still randomly likes my Instagram stories once in a while, and recently liked an actual picture of me after months. I know I sound a little stupid even typing this out, but I genuinely cannot understand this behaviour. For people who’ve experienced similar dynamics, how did you interpret someone repeatedly coming back into your orbit without clearly communicating what they actually wanted? And emotionally, how am I supposed to understand what he wants now because I might take him back if he came back? It’s been over for years. You really need to block him and move on. He’s obviously not coming back. He obviously doesn’t want to be with you. Please consider some therapy if you’ve been holding onto a guy that broke it off with you for years . He’s out living his life. It’s time for you to live yours.

I[26M] don’t know why I keep getting dumped (this time by my ex-girlfriend[26f]) Its still raw, and I’m aware of that, but I genuinely can’t make sense of it anymore. I do everything I can to connect with people, learn more about them, make them feel special, and every time it feels like I have to fight tooth and nail to get any of that feeling back from them. I was just dumped by my ex-girlfriend and when I asked why, she couldn’t give me a straight answer. Our 1-year anniversary was a few weeks ago, and like all celebrations between us, I was the one to plan dinner, buy her flowers, and pay for everything. I was happy to, because I felt like it was a special time. She is very into literature and poetry and I have even tried my hand at writing her poems for her birthday and valentines day. I almost always spend the night at her place when we hang out, despite mentioning that I would love to have her over sometimes. I get along with all of her friends and even started to consider them my friends as well, but she came with me to 1 event with my friends, 1 event with my family, and then refused to come to any more after that. I think my friends and family are fantastic people and they were all excited to meet her. I constantly was looking for ways to get to know her better, like using an app called Paired so that we could connect daily, but even that, she stopped responding to and just acted like she forgot about it. My relationship before this ended in a similar way, except it only lasted a few months. I genuinely do not know what I did wrong. I genuinely cannot fathom why she felt the need to break up. Everything about us fit perfectly together. We liked similar shows, we had similar tastes in media, we both liked to draw (despite me being the only one to peruse any drawing activities), we both liked video games, D&D, etc. But in the end, we sat on her bed, after she told me she wanted to have a talk, and she bawled her eyes out as she dumped me because she just ‘couldn’t believe this was her future’ and she felt bad about dumping me. The only other things she mentioned that gave me any clue, was that she felt a visceral reaction when I pretended to take out my phone a look at houses we could buy together (as a kind of teasing joke), and that she said she felt like she didn’t know how to feel 'closer to me’. I am absolutely devastated, because I wanted to spend my life with this girl. Time and time again, I felt like I looked at problems that came up between us and said “Alright, well I’m in it with this girl, how can I fix this in a way that makes us both happy?” and when it became her turn, she just decided that there was nothing she could do about it. I genuinely don’t understand, and its tearing me apart, because the only conclusion I can come to is that I am either 'too much’ or just 'not enough’ to be worth spending a life with. I am so unbelievably tired and drained from trying my absolute best with people only to be discarded because they feel like life is supposed to be easy 100% of the time. Please someone tell me what the hell I did wrong. I don’t think I can take another breakup like this. People break up because they are incompatible, want different things, find it too hard to resolve conflict, have different levels of investment into each other, aren’t feeling the vibes or chemistry they want, aren’t ready to settle down, want to be single, want to try something different, etc., etc., etc. If you’re paying attention, people break up because a relationship, for whatever reason, isn’t working for them. Why are you trying to turn that into some personal and inherent statement on your worth as a person?

Can you recommend any romance book that deals with getting over a messy relationship?

Well, thanks for the question, nonnie. Unfortunately, I don’t recommend reading romance when trying to get over someone. Maaaaybe situationship smut. That isn’t emotionally deep with each other. Ultimately, the time after a break up is about returning to self, healing and recovery. Much like other difficult situations in life, from the flu to mental health episodes. We have to take some time to be alone, or with the people who fill our cup in nurturing ways. Which is not a new romance. And romantic stories will just tend to make you long for either what you can no longer have, or to fill the hole with something too quick and empty to be real. Some alternative good suggestions tho: Make a break up playlist (key is not just mopey heartbreak songs, but also badass, kick them to the curb ones and ones who remind us of who we are). Play it on repeat. Spring clean your house/spaces. Box up and/or get rid of the memories. Literally sweep out some of that old energy. Light some candles or incense after, with intention. Simmer pots are so healing for stale energy. Making an altar or something creative–with intention. Whether for release or initiation of new energy. Write a letter to your self, to the one the day after the break up, or a letter to the ex about regrets and/or lessons learned, and then burn it with his name (please play safely with fire things). Leave them in the ashes. Baths and showers are a fav, they wash away the past or the flood of emotions or the residue you are sitting in. WRITE. Not “I love you and want you back” shit, but heartache, loss and healing go so well with writing. So naturally therapeutic. Whether direct and about the person and you or even projected into fiction. We gotta get some of that shit out. Try a new hobbie or get into a new book, game, activity. Give your mind time to focus on something that is relaxing and nurturing of you, around the times you give yourself to process your emotion. Hyperfixating on the breakup 24/7 isn’t healthy for anyone. Monday is a new moon. It’s a time for new things. You get to decide where you go. But always remember that grieving an ending of any kind takes time. And sometimes we will always care, even from a distance. That doesn’t mean the endings weren’t still necessary. Sending love and rays of starlight into the darkness of your night, nonnie (and all those who need the reminders). You are always worth love, growth, and healing. 🫶✨

I wrote all of his favorite things and things he dosent like in my cat notebook, I’m super upset reading everything I wrote down in it I miss daddy /:

I don’t know why this break up is affecting me so much right now, the rejection like why don’t u love me??? I did so much and u didn’t deserve any of it I loved u with everything in me I wanted to finally settle down I wanted u why wasn’t it enough you’re not even worth it I spent so much money on u so much energy Id go to bed crying and now you have me blocked now I’m the problem how is that even possible???????? Fuck u it hurts so much i hate this I hate u i was so good to you 💔💔💔💔💔

And that isnt what I wanted but its what happened … it is what it is as I have always said.

Hate it when I finally come to terms with the fact that my relationship with someone is over and we’ll never talk again and im starting to forget them and THEN they decide they wanna come back

My (22M ) ex boyfriend told me we are incompatible (20F) and found a new girl in 7 months .what would you do? so it started when things were messy and i said lets break up and dude actually said yes and left .i kept crying a lot and idk somehow that scared him away and he used tht as a reason telling it was scary and how can i guarentee u wtever . and then he said i love you so much and kept contacting me no one knew we were talking…so without coming back to a relationship he starting speaking dirty and stuff and then pooof he told we are incompatible and left and next month he says his friends he wants me back..his friends said nope u have hurt her enough let her go ..she is happy and glowing now .. after that incident after 1 month he is with a new girl. so there was noreason for a breakup . no closure nothing Closure is a myth. You give yourself closure by accepting what happened. I would block him and move on with my life.

This is my favorite song rn it reminded me of him

He was a horrible bf and yet his ability to move on like nothing happened and to make me feel like I was the problem even though he cheated is insane my head hurts my body hurts

I realize that my role that I played in each of the downfalls of my relationships is rooted in my lack of self - self knowing, self love, self worth. Time to do the work. No more excuses. The summer of self love begins now.

Meg and Klay: More Break Up Songs 🎤🏀💔 Despite wars, mass layoffs, skyrocketing fuel prices and the nullification of civil rights laws the internet is still enthralled with the break up of Meg and Klay. Here are some more break up songs to help us cope. I was pulling for you two. So much for that. So Much for my Happy Ending-Avril Lavigne To answer the question, Meg is working with Habitat for Humanity. I don’t know what Klay… Meg and Klay: More Break Up Songs 🎤🏀💔

How do I (25F) handle my boyfriend (24M) asking for “space” after 5 years together? My boyfriend (24M) and I (25F) have been together for 5 years and long distance for almost 2 years, with plans to close the distance within the next ~6 months. For about the past month, we’ve been stuck in a push–pull cycle. We still clearly love each other, but we keep swinging between being very close and in constant contact, and then suddenly pulling back and needing space. Recently, he told me he does want me in his life (marriage and kids), but he feels like he needs time on his own to figure himself out. He said he’s become too emotionally dependent on me and doesn’t feel like he’s growing as an individual, and that having me as a constant support has made it harder for him to change. At the same time, he keeps saying he loves me and doesn’t want to fully close the door on us. I’m struggling to understand what this actually means in practice. I don’t know if this is a situation where healthy space could genuinely help us grow individually and improve the relationship long-term, or if this is more likely the beginning of an ending that neither of us is fully saying out loud yet. In your experience, does “taking space” in a long-term relationship actually lead to healthier reconnection, or is it more often just an indirect breakup? For people who have dealt with a partner asking for space, what boundaries or expectations did you set so it didn’t turn into confusion or constant uncertainty? I’ve never seen space like this do anything but lead to a long, painful, extended break up. It’s the cowards way out. He wants out, but he’s also afraid that nothing else will come along, so he’d like to see for himself if he has a shot at getting anybody else or if he should just settle for you if he doesn’t want to be single.

I still have the voice messages he used to send me wishing me a good night I still listen to them :c

I’ve gotten over a lot of things in my life but I will never get over you, getting over me.

I [25M] left my gf [24F] because of religion and family, and I don’t know if I made the biggest mistake of my life I recently ended things with my girlfriend because of religion, and I honestly feel like I’m falling apart. I loved her. I still love her. This wasn’t a breakup because the relationship was bad, or because she did something wrong, or because we stopped caring about each other. It ended because I felt like our religions, families, and futures were pulling us in different directions. My family had some involvement in it. I don’t want to make it sound like they forced me, because at the end of the day I made the decision. But their expectations definitely weighed on me. I knew what they wanted for me. I knew what kind of future they would accept. I knew that being with someone outside of my religion would always be complicated. The part I feel the most guilty about is that everyone seemed okay with the idea of her learning about my religion. There was this unspoken feeling that if she learned more, understood it, and maybe eventually converted, then maybe things could work. But when she asked me to do the same for her to learn about her beliefs, understand her background properly, or even consider meeting her halfway, I couldn’t do it. I don’t know if that makes me a hypocrite, but it feels like it does. I expected openness from her that I wasn’t able to give back. That’s what’s messing with my head the most. I keep asking myself whether I actually chose faith, or whether I chose fear. Fear of disappointing my family. Fear of doing the wrong thing religiously. Fear of building a future that would always come with conflict. But now that I’ve ended it, I don’t feel peace. I thought maybe if I made the “right” decision, I would feel some sort of relief. Instead, I feel sick. I feel guilty. I feel like I’ve hurt someone who genuinely loved me. I feel like I betrayed her, and maybe betrayed myself too. I keep hoping that one day this will feel like the right choice. That maybe the pain is just temporary and eventually I’ll understand why I had to do it. But right now, it just feels conflicting. One part of me is telling myself I did what I had to do. Another part of me is screaming that I made a huge mistake. I don’t even want to go back to normal life. I don’t want to pretend I’m okay. I don’t want to act like this was clean or simple. I feel like running away from everything because I don’t know how to sit with the guilt. I know religion matters. I know family matters. But she mattered too. And I don’t know if I used religion as a reason to avoid standing up for the relationship. Is this guilt a sign that I made the wrong decision, or is it just the pain of doing something difficult? Please help I am falling apart. You were incompatible. I’d sooner believe the guilt stems from your religious leanings than fate. Does your religion allow for talking to a therapist?

Meg and Klay: Break up Songs 🎧😢🏀💔 Meg Thee Stallion and Klay Thompson ended their romance. I made a break up song Playlist for Meg and Klay in memory of their high profile romance. Megan Thee Stallion Ends Relationship with Klay Thompson, Claims He Cheated on Her https://share.google/zZUFVv0wf8coKSJFf Icebox Where My Heart Used to Be – Omarion A little piece of your heart dies after being disappointed by love. You Should… View On WordPress