#barely

me: *casually talks about my life (struggles) * them: uuhhhh so how exactly DO you get by? me: *resigned sigh* barely.

Community engagement is a fucking drug. Starts out with an interest in birding, right? Seems harmless enough, you like to see the catbirds and the geese and the red-tailed hawks when you take your dog out. You go on a few guided bird walks with the Audubon society to learn a little more. You get on their email list. You sign up to monitor an osprey nest during the nesting season. The next year, it’s two nests, but only one of them is active, so it’s barely any more work. The year after that, it’s three. You get an email about some trash pickup events at a local pond. They tell you more about stormwater runoff and how it’s affecting the watershed. They need volunteers. You sign up to walk around the park once a month and count geese. Nutrients from excessive goose poop gets in the water, see. They need data to fund signage encouraging people not to feed the geese. It’s a nice walk, you think, I’ve been meaning to get to the park more often anyway. That’s great, they tell you. Oh and hey, they also need people to go out when it rains and upload videos of how their green infrastructure sites are handling the stormwater. Well that’s not such a big commitment, you think, I can probably take on one or two of those sites. Hey, one of them is near my favorite donut shop, that’ll be nice. They want people to show up to a city planning board meeting to advocate for more funding for these green stormwater diversion sites. Okay, it’s at the library anyway, I can drop off my books and stick around for the meeting. You meet some other people there. They’re working on planning more mixed zoning areas to allow for higher density housing and improved public transit. Well that sounds pretty good, housing is a fucking nightmare around here. And oh my god, they’re considering a longterm plan to add light rail?!?! Now you’re reading a 40 page planning document about zoning,

i was doing a phisics test and EVERY GODDAMN question reminded me of project hail mary the obsession is too much help 51 eridani b was mentioned ONCE and i flinched like a wounded dog like c'mon it wasn’t even 40 eridiani A b why are you like this

i am still alive

Deinen Freund oder dein komatöser evil twin von den Christdemokraten?

sigh

luis the player you are <3

I’m sooooo tired i want to start chewing through the walls and exploding and melting into the floor forever and- Oh wait nvm Cobra Commander is here again, hi Cobra Commander 👋

Nothing can hurt me because the leafsmin already shot me in the back a million times and babey I’m still standing

I spent so long tempering my rage, I convinced myself my nature was passive. I forgot about the Endless Fury buried under 20 years of bad boundaries and poor communications skills. Digging inside myself i felt her glow again, and now i have to choose to risk her excavation or else stop digging. I think I’ll put up my pickaxe until I can afford a therapist (and FIND one) who gives me new tools. I’m afraid of what is underneath, and who it means to hurt.

can my dear father Stawp leaving me on Delivered I Know U saw my Message 👀👀 jusy let me play my nintendo all u have to say is yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i didn’t realize vent channels on discord aren’t actually for venting and they’re instead for venomously tearing apart other people’s sincere vents and making awful generalizations about them based on those vents. anyway that’s why i don’t use discord anymore lol

I only want to be alive during spring and fall

aegon’s still alive 🫩🫩

yes she did she was pissed off merely pointing out that she’s still alive

😭😭😭

it just took me an hour and a half to feel awake enough to do work. that’s two hours from waking up.

Today I have played some games of chess where I started with some random ass moves and they should have led to disaster. Yet somehow they won? Huzzar!

im alive

Made this in like a minute last night just before I fell asleep This is, in fact how I was falling asleep