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Krimzon Plays | Assassin’s Creed Odyssey: Episode 22 – Pephka
Hey ya’ll! I’m live on Twitch playing Assassin’s Creed Odyssey for the next installment of Krimzon Knight Plays Assassin’s Creed! If you want to follow my other socials, or join me over on Discord the links are all in my linktree! Twitch: Here Youtube: Here Linktree: Here Thanks, I hope to see you then!! Krimzon Knight
Long before I split, when we were a child, we were a dancer. The host, with dreams of being a ballerina took dance for a good few years. It was a small, cheap, community run kids class that was held in a community centre rather than a studio. Because professional studio lessons, even for kids, are expensive as hell and our parents couldn’t afford it. But they found the cheapest dance classes for our age group and put us in them, because it got their kid out of the house and exercising. Somewhere in a photo album is seven year old host, in a pink costume tutu exited to finally be a ballerina. But the dream was slowly shattered as the years went on. No one in the classes talked to them, wanted to partner up for lessons involving duos or groups, no one ever came to help them when they didn’t understand a particular move or needed someone to spot them. No other students or any of the teachers. It was like they were just a ghost in the back row no one knew existed. And looking back, it is the most clean cut example of the way kids have this unconscious awareness that someone is ‘different’. At that age, our dad knew we were autistic, but the money issue made diagnosis impossible. He tried to explain it in a way an autistic kid would understand, but it didn’t really land until we were older. So this resulted in a subtly excluded child not understanding why no one liked them. The fact we couldn’t afford proper dance clothes and had to just show up in basic leggings and a shirt rather than a proper leotard didn’t help either. We looked different visually, and the subtle autistic traits we didn’t yet understand made us too different to be taken seriously as an option for friendship or even just a brief moment of kindness helping with a tricky step. Host stuck it out for as long as their child self could, determined to just make it work so one day they’d be good enough of a dancer to go to a real studio with real ballet slippers and a real barre and mirror to dance at. But the exclusion from the other kids and the teachers not even bothering to help them improve wore them down after a few years, and the final straw was when another kid accidentally kicked us in the jaw, making us bite on our tongue and start bleeding. And no one even noticed. Not the kid who accidentally kicked, not the teacher who apparently didn’t notice a child bleeding from the mouth. They just left the room, went to our parent for help, no one in that room noticed we’d left. The joy that dance bought to that seven year old was completely sucked out by being excluded. By being the odd one out in a shirt rather than leotard, being left to try and follow tricky moves on their own, by no one in the class even knowing our name. So we just never went back. Over a decade later as an adult, I watch our host, the person who went to those classes, listen to ballet music and scroll Pinterest looking at performance photos. I find new ballerina barbies on the shelves every so often. I find tabs open about if it’s too dangerous to do such a physically taxing dance style with HEDS. The dream never died, it’s always been there. The joy was sucked away as a child because of exclusion, because a seven year old autistic, closeted trans guy with not enough money for proper dance shoes was outcasted and never actually offered the help a kid needs to improve and master tricky dance steps. Adult classes do exist, but they’re understandably weary about going into a very woman heavy space as a trans guy. About how hyper mobility may affect dancing and our body. And money still isn’t great but at least it’s much better than it was as a kid. And I can’t help but wonder what may have happened if someone had been there in those classes as a kid. If having just one friend, or a teacher that actually cared, would have pushed us to keep going and eventually when money got better, move onto a proper studio with proper gear. If we’d be en pointe by now, been in any shows or won any small awards. What could have been, if someone had cared enough to help the quiet, awkward, less well off kid in the back row out a little bit.
I got chronic hand restart syndrome and restarted my island~~ Idk why it’s animal crossing specifically that I do this with, but at least I made some town tunes for later~~~ I don’t think peaches are going to work for an island that I’m trying to make this time but just got my tent paid off, and a bunch of flowers planted so why restart again so quick? I like what I got going on so far and hopefully I’ll adhere to the challenge I set for myself. An attempt at a kind of crossing of animal crossing and Nier aesthetics, as the story I’m making for this island is that it’s a database of memories and the main character, Sola, is the android tasked with maintaining the ‘garden’ where every hybrid flower she breeds is a collection of another memory to store and catalog. May or may not be linked to the ‘Forest of Myth’ or the twins. Drew a n attempt at a chibi Popola on the bulletin board as a welcome post. Layout so far ~~ Weaving a story of an android keeping up a database of memories. <<Gardener_of_[M]emories>> Is Sola’s passport comment ~~~ And I can only make money in game selling flowers; given the self imposed challenge haha. Hope I have fun and don’t restart again so soon ~~ Black flowers are gonna be seen as database corruption ~~~ especially black lilies Cause I think and feel that white lilies remind me of lunar tears~~
~~I do hope I made the bards proud~~ I like trying to transpose music through hearing I guess I’m not terribly musically inclined to my knowledge; especially the only time I took a music class was in early grade school. I wanted to take music appreciation in high school but they wouldn’t let me I guess cause either I had too many credits missing or I wasn’t in music class actively. I’ve listened by ear to songs I’ve been loving lately and decided to use bits and pieces to make island tunes for animal crossing new horizons ~~~ One is ‘kuroi uta’ from drakangard 3 and the other 3 are different attempts at recreating ‘the song of the ancients’ within animal crossings town tune creation engine It’s sort of hard to transpose really complex songs with their vocal beats into a game that has very limited notes and sound. Hope I did the bards proud and these are as hauntingly beautiful and fit Nier, even in a happy game like new horizons, I think the juxtaposition of the two and adding some yoko taro into animal crossing fun~~~~~ And it fits the plot I’m trying to weave into my new island as Sola keeping a garden of memories alive. <<Gardener_of_[M]emories>> is her passport comment~~~~ All in the hopes I have more fun with the game and have a ‘vision’ for the island so I don’t keep restarting. Crumbling ruins of a database that’s slowly being deleted and Sola is the administrator trying to stave off the corruption and keep the data, the bred flowers and hybrids, from being deleted entirely. Am having fun clearly :)
I have a theory as to what Zipper T. Bunny from Animal Crossing is, and why he doesn’t want to take his suit off. Maybe inside that suit is an eldritch, shadowy blob creature using the suit for structure, and that pulling down that zipper would cause the shadow creature to spill out.
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Krimzon Plays | Assassin’s Creed Odyssey: Episode 21 – The Labyrinth
Hey ya’ll! I’m live on Twitch playing Assassin’s Creed Odyssey for the next installment of Krimzon Knight Plays Assassin’s Creed! If you want to follow my other socials, or join me over on Discord the links are all in my linktree! Twitch: Here Youtube: Here Linktree: Here Thanks, I hope to see you then!! Krimzon Knight
I’m very disappointed…………. Forecast said it was supposed to rain today and yet zero rain, very hot day in fact so hot that I was thinking I should just walk around in swimwear and find a pool to dive into ~
Ch.140 So beautiful. “I want to be weak” was so huge especially. I was like he’s strong though? And then all the weaknesses nagisa wrote down came back to me.
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