#THIS IS NOT OKAY ANYMORE
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Unfortunately the Rosen fixation has gotten to a point where I unironically have hopes for him being in remake part 3 somehow Like no listen LISTEN he was in that EC anniversary story he’s in the lifestream with his weird Sephiroth radar sense HE WILL BE THERE…. TRUST ME He’s relevant enough for this I SWEAR
It’s great when my mom makes plans without even telling me. Apparently people are coming over for dinner and that’s going to kind of fuck with my ISP and Doctor Who and whatnot. And my elbow and my wrist have been hurting all day. So that’s two things that I’m mad about. I don’t know what qualifies as a panic attack, but I’m fairly sure I’ve had several minor ones in the last few days about ISP.
#shortness of breath? check#increased heart rate? check#SERIOUSLY NO WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY ARM#THIS IS NOT OKAY ANYMORE#the first time I remember this panicky feeling was the day of the MCR concert#which would be...May 22 2011#it was also the day that my reading group filmed our Catcher in the Rye project#and I was worried about that and I was worried about finishing in time for the concert
The amount of time I spend praying for my heart to stop racing is unbelievable. It hurts, my heart physically aches. I can feel my chest muscles being fatigued and exhausted. I want to sleep and there is so much adrenaline pumping through me that instead I just lay here feeling my heart pounding so hard inside myself that I’m afraid it will explode. It’s more and more and it’s unbearable. I am so tired of this. I am so exhausted in such intrinsic ways. I just want it to stop. So very badly. More than anything else in the world. I want this feeling to go away for good. I can’t do this every day anymore. I just can’t.
I GOT A BUG BITE ON MY FUCKING EAR IM DRAWING THE LINE THIS IS THE LAST STRAW I SEE ONE MORE BUG IN MY HOUSE AND IM SETTING IT ON FIRE
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