#dark academia

I’m abandoning the productivity challenge. Doesn’t mean i’m not trying to be productive; i try almost everyday and have succeeded quite a few times. But my d3pr3ss1on and anemia make me not be able to commit to a challenge like that right now. My life has changed a lot recently, and it will change even more in a couple of months (for the better!) My bf got indo a Master’s program in France and we’re moving there together. I still need to write my dissertation which i’ll defend around march 2027. And after this is done I’d like to spend a year working, be it a 9am-5pm. I do not have the strength to follow up with a phD. anyways, let’s go to the good things I achieved these past months: read Dawn of the Reaping (loved it! devoured the book in a few days) finally started diving into Freud’s Psychology of the Masses sent my project to my professor watched many movies and went to lots of cool places! Here a pic i took in the museum of sacred things in a church and a photo of my baby!!

Daily affirmations 💕 ✨ I love living in a stagnant hopeless limbo ✨ I am friends with the void and explore it with curiosity ✨ Every day in this little black box is so fun

Hay días en que soy un muelle abandonado, con clavos oxidados de recuerdos y el mar subiendo por las piernas sin pedir permiso. La tristeza no grita: susurra en lengua de madera vieja, me cuenta que los relojes también lloran cuando nadie los mira marcar la hora. Pero aun en la noche más honda, guardo una semilla de sal bajo la lengua. Tal vez mañana el viento me traiga tu olor a pan, o encuentre en mi sombra una grieta por donde entre el sol. Porque he aprendido que hasta los naufragios florecen cuando aceptan que el agua también es camino.

Once you live the word grief , you wonder what the word happiness feels like.

Hay silencios que no duelen hasta que ya no puedes fingir que no los oyes. Algunas traiciones no gritan, solo se acomodan en los rincones, como si siempre hubieran pertenecido allí.

instagram | photos are my own, reblogs fine, do not repost/reuse

So, I’ve been joining 10k runs to avoid doing my thesis. Haha. 🎶 Dowoon – 문득

I want her with a hunger that feels less like desire and more like a slow holy consumption. It is not a gentle pining… it is a fever in the marrow, an agonizing fixation that turns the rest of the world to ash and gray stone. I want to lock myself within her shadow and breathe the very air that stirs her hair, to possess and be possessed by her until there is no boundary left between her fragile skin and my own ruined soul. To be without her is to rot alive in the dark. I want her because she is the burning center of my mind and I would gladly let the flames devour everything I am just to exist where she is.

Ahora recorro cementerios de mármol y hiedra, como Mary vagando entre tumbas y monstruos creados. Te busco en la niebla del Támesis, sombra discreta, susurro tu nombre al viento: amor inacabado. Si la muerte es un velo que el alma no atraviesa, que mi corazón sea el fantasma que te espera. En cada tormenta leo tu adiós entre las letras de este siglo de hierro que aún guarda tu quimera.

come with us

Every breath without you is a hallway I walk alone, echoing with the ghost of your voice.

ALT Charles Baudelaire, Hymn to Beauty The Flowers of Evil, tr. William Ageler Originally published 1857

A veces, lo más difícil no es sobrevivir en la profundidad, sino aceptar que no hay regreso fácil a la superficie.

Your breath against my neck writes secrets the rest of the world will never read.

Our love is a coffin built for two - tight, eternal, and lined with the silk of our last breaths.

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Sidney Sheldon , “Nothing Lasts Forever”

Detalles 📷

nothing has changed. the plot, still the same. even now, here I am, staring blankly as Rome collapses around me - “ rome”